Are You Missing the Single Most Magical Key to Attracting Love? Dr. Jenn, I am strongly feeling a need to be doing creative things. So, for the next 30 days I’m doing a journal writing down all the things I love about myself. Hopefully, they will be integrated as part of me and mirrored by the new man in my life. I like that idea and I can do it!!! If I can love all of these things about myself then they will be right out there, for a man to love too. Right? Lisa ************ Hey Lisa! THAT is a FANTASTIC idea! Attracting your soulmate is all about stepping into your Best Self which attracts your Perfect Partner- the partner that is the best possible complement for you! The easiest way to step into your Best Self is to love yourself and a wonderful way to do that is to consciously honor all of the amazing things about yourself- daily! As you are consciously aware of the things that make you remarkable- you are stepping into those parts of yourself more fully, embodying them with more truth. The result? You are shining the light of those qualities more strongly out into the world- making you glow brighter, with the charm of authentic charisma- like a giant Soulmate Magnet, of course! People around you will FEEL the difference and be drawn to it magnetically, without even knowing why! The effect of this is that the men who are drawn in will be the ones who naturally, easily, effortlessly appreciate Who You Really Are! How wonderful is that?! Plus, since you are shining the light of pure goodness, strength, and beauty- you will attract a man who also stands in his strength- one who is happy, healthy, and emotionally available to create a lasting love. So, the bottom line is: If someone wanted to focus on only one thing to attract their soulmate, it would be this one thing you are doing! Focusing on why you are so very awesome right to the core! That is the magical place that allows soulmate love to be drawn into your life! I’m excited for you. Let me know how it goes! And how it feels! Dr. Jenn  |
Weeding Out Men: The Thoughtfulness Quotient Dr. Jenn, About two months ago I was talking to about seven guys, and this includes emailing and phone conversations. Since then I have met three of those guys and Rick is the guy at the top of the list. Rick already had several bonus points for calling to check up on me both before and after I was going in for surgery two weeks ago, and he apparently really cared and wanted to know how I was doing. I was quite touched by this. Two other guys I was talking to around that time- who also knew about my pending surgery- did not even ask about it, but rather just talked about THEIR stuff, including distant relatives. I was facing some potentially scary news, and I really appreciated Rick\'s concern and thoughtfulness, even though we had not met in person. Rick has a WONDERFUL sense of humor and we always find great things to talk about and funny stories to tell, and our conversations seem very balanced. We finally met on Friday night! It was warm and friendly and we plan to see each other again soon. I like that Rick\'s kids are both married and on their own and doing well, like mine. And I also like that he has a great little dog and that he relates well to dogs. And I LOVE his sense of humor, and his obvious caring personality. Yep, this one has potential!! I’ll keep you in the loop! Lisa ********************* Hi Lisa! While having the surgery was no walk in the park- it certainly gave you the opportunity to see how the men would behave when you could use some support! Bonus! Sounds like Rick passed with flying colors! It’s never too early to treat each other with thoughtful kindness, empathy, and respect. I call this the Thoughtfulness Quotient- and you can usually feel this right away with a person! And when you get Rick’s kind of treatment, right out of the gate- BEFORE even meeting, well that tells you volumes about the kind of person he is, doesn’t it?! The fact that the others basically ignored it in a somewhat selfish manner- also reflects what they would probably be like to be around later on. Rightly so- those are BIG RED FLAGS. And these are the kind of things you really want to see about a person early on- it can save you lots of heartache! But when someone makes you feel seen, heard, and cared about- even at the beginning- you know you are on the right track! I look forward to hearing more about Rick! Dr. Jenn  |
Organize Your Online Dating World?: A Filing-Rating System That Works! Dr. Jenn, I have been continuing to stay in touch with several men at one time, and I wanted to share with you my new filing-rating system! I’ve devised a way to list them in my email files, with a rating of sorts, so I can keep in mind where my feelings about each of them stand, in terms of potential. So, I keep an email folder for each one, and when I title the folders, if I put an AA in front of their name, they are among those at the top of the list! After a few questionable yellow flag issues (such as hogging 80% of a phone conversation) I may remove one of the A\'s, and they move to the A category, and from there perhaps to the B category. This helps me to remember where each is.
Lisa ************
So, I like your idea of being organized so you can keep track of how interested you are in people!
And in addition to what you suggest, I always suggest that people have a totally separate email account that they use only for online dating- makes things much easier to follow! And, folks, please don\'t use your real name as your login for that account- instead go with something that matches your online profile\'s handle or tag line! Clever, safe, and easy for folks to remember who they are talking to as well! So, onward & upward with clarity in your mind and warmth in your heart!! Dr. Jenn Readers: What do you think of Lisa\'s system? What helps you keep track of your online dating life? Please share!  |
Unclogging Your Love Life Hi Dr. Jenn, Okay, I have re-focused, and have let go of the guys that didn\'t match my dream. And, guess what?! A whole BUNCH of new ones have shown up. I think I get it! When you are juggling and one ball drops, I don\'t try to find THAT ball again, but grab another that has been tossed in my direction, and keep right on juggling, until ONE ball shows up that is just too good to be true, and he feels the same about me. Right? I am SOOOOOO excited!!!! Lisa ************************ Lisa! By golly, I think you are brilliant! YES- That’s exactly it! I love the metaphor- you just keep juggling new and interesting balls until the right ball is in your hands- drop all balls that don’t feel right, and enjoy the playful juggling! Sounds like a recipe for fun and success! It also illustrates last post\'s principle perfectly- that when you let go of all who do not fit- it allows room for more wonderful opportunities to show up!! So many people clog up their life dating folks who are almost right, or Mr. Right Now. Important Principle: As long as you are clogged your soulmate is delayed. You just keep playing, shining Who You Really Are, connect authentically with everyone you meet, take leave genuinely and gently when the time is right, and learn the gifts of all of your lessons on this delightful journey. Until, HE shows up. In delightful service of love, Dr. Jenn Readers: How has unclogging your love life resulted in better flow of love into your life? Please share.  |
| What to Do When What You DON\'T Want Keeps Showing Up! Dear Dr. Jenn, Help!!! I feel like I am in a juggling rut. Rather than juggling with good potential guys, if feels like I am looking for the one with the least flaws, and something seems wrong about this. I am more confused than ever about men and dating. I have about 7 guys who are interested, so there is no real shortage I guess, just lots of confusion on my part, in that none of them seem to be right enough, for all sorts of different reason. I absolutely LOVE the communications I share with one guy, but he’s halfway across the country! We have a lot in common in creating things, and the way we see life, and I absolutely love his emails. What to do, what to do. Just continue I guess, until one feels very, very right. Right? Lisa ************* Lisa- I’d like to ask you: What is it that’s making you more confused than ever? You know What You Want- and what is right in front of you isn’t What You Want, right? But, having what you Don’t Want in front of you, makes it even clearer- What You Do Want!! That is it’s gift! More clarity! Where you are at right now- is where people tend to get supremely frustrated and give up. They think: “I’m trying this Law of Attraction thing, I’m trying to focus on What I Want- and still what I Don’t Want keeps showing up!” And they start to think this whole Law of Attraction thing- Like Attracting Like- simply doesn’t work. And, that’s where the confusion comes in. Because a lot of folks who have learned about the Law of Attraction, have NOT learned about it’s best friend, the Law of Opposites. The two always work in Tandem. The Law of Opposites says once you get very clear on What You Want- all of it’s opposites will show up. Yes, that’s right- when you clearly call in What You Want- the first thing that will happen is more of What You Don’t Want will arrive in your life!!! WHY? Stay with me here, because this is very important. If you already were, right now, in total harmony with What You Want- it WOULD be in your life, NOW. So, to get to where your vibration IS in full alignment with your Desire- what would have to happen? Everything that was NOT in proper vibration would have to be brought up, so you could look at it, heal it, and release it. This process would be the gift that offers you the opportunity to get into fuller alignment with your desire- Love. That’s why Everything You Don’t Want shows up- so you can clear and release the patterns that no longer serve you. And honestly, that can take some time, since most of us need time to truly let go and develop a new, more positive habit. I love the way Neale Donald Walsch talks about this in his book Happier than God- he says that people have it backwards. They get all depressed and angry when What They Don’t Want shows up. Because they think it means they aren’t getting closer to What They Want. And then they go and ruin their positive vibration by focusing on all that is “Wrong”. But the opposite is true! He states that when everything opposite shows up it\'s actually a great sign that What You Want is just around the corner! But, only IF you stay SUPER CLEAR on What You Want- rather than get distracted by everything around you that You Don’t Want. Make sense? So right now, you are simply being called to remain steadfast and clear- and about What You Do Want. There is no need for confusion or worry- It’s simply an invitation to stay absolutely crystal clear about what you DO WANT! That is all that is needed right now! Just keep Holding the Vision and every day, many times a day if necessary, Refocus on What You WANT! You are right, don\'t bother with the men who don\'t feel right. Just take a pass on them. Once you know it isn’t a good fit- you don’t have to juggle them- just keep moving on. Kinda like this. - David shows up who has sleep apnea and you aren’t attracted to him. “Thank you Universe for sending me David- to highlight what I do what. Here’s what I do want: A healthy guy I am wonderfully attracted to.” Spend a moment feeling the happiness of THAT guy in your life. - Terry shows up who is horribly messy and very overweight. “Thank you Universe for sending me Terry. Here’s what I do want: An organized guy who’s committed to doing whatever it takes to remain happy and healthy so we can grow old together.” Spend a moment feeling the happiness of THAT guy in your life. - Chuck shows up who seems VERY complicated and very serious about life, and very perfectionist. “Thank you Universe for sending me Chuck. Here’s what I do want: A guy who’s easy going and we share comfortable, fun-loving laughter together.” Spend a moment feeling the happiness of THAT guy in your life. The idea is to take what the situation has shown to you is What You Don’t Want- and use it to immediately reaffirm What You Do Want! Spend no more time on focusing on what isn’t right. Let it go and keep your attention on Your Gorgeous Vision of Love. The key is to stay positively patient, yet proactive at the same time. I know you can do it! Readers: How has the arrival of What You Don\'t Want actually helped you achieve what You Do Want?? Please share!  |
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