... and putting myself back together again :)
Yes - rather a strange title for a post, and rather a strange post for ABC Wednesday
... but I figured it was about time I started blogging again, because it is Fun ... and the subject/title Fits the letter F
... so I Figured I may as well risk Freaking everyone out and post about this ... er... stuff I am posting about :)
For a while now, possibly even most of my life, I have Felt, at times, a bit like I was a Failure ... after the last time life as I know it sort of Fell apart (when the person I had been married to for 25 years decided to just walk out without even discussing it) I was a bit of a mess For a while, but after that I Felt a bit better, and thought I was Finding myself ... Figured I was starting a new life, Found and bought a new house ... but then I still Found myself stuck in the same old job I had been in For way too long ... and I was not happy. I thought I would be Fine once I Found a new job ... but that kind of wasn't happening ... and then Finally, "the wheels Fell off" ... I had known I wasn't totally happy (but I was still having Fun doing a heap of things I liked ... possibly too many things? lol) ... and I knew I Felt a bit stressed and stuff ... but what I didn't know was that I had also probably been depressed ... I do now ... also realised that I possibly had been stressed and depressed for quite some time ... but hopefully that is now something that can be, and is being, fixed - now that I have Finally got the right sort of professional help ... which eventually happened this year, at the end of a rather long and messed up process involving my workplace, after I Found myself in the Fairly Frightening situation of getting in trouble at work, because I was so stressed/etc that I was no longer able to do my job properly - and so my world kind of Fell apart ... again (that was toward the end of last year - about when I wrote the last blog post, actually) ... but now that I am Finding out a Few more things about what makes me tick, I Feel that I will be Fine again in a while, when I have Finished Finding out about myself, and can then Finally Find myself :)
This is not meant to be a depressing post - things are a bit Freaky at the moment but I will be Fine :)
- I am on a journey, and although I ended up on a Fairly rough road again For a while, hopefully I have now Found Four wheel drive so I can get over it, and will get a GPS to keep me on track to where I want to go, and I can be a "happy camper" again :)
... maybe I should have called this post "Finding Myself" ... but I might save that for next round, when I have Found out a bit more about myself, and what direction this bumpy road is taking me - lol
(one thing I do know, is these kind of things take time ... as a certain shampoo advert says: "It won't happen overnight, but it will happen" lol)
... Hmm ... who would have thought I would be blogging (or even talking) about Mental health conditions and myself all in the same story? ... and maybe I am a special kind of weird, telling the whole world about this stuff? ... but when I read somewhere that "in Australia, it is estimated that 45% of people will experience a mental health condition in their lifetime" - then I think it is something that SHOULD be talked about more often ... who knows ... one of the 2 or 3 people who might ever read my blog posts might read this and think "I wonder if this is my problem" or "I feel depressed" or " I am a bit stressed" and be wondering "do I need help?" Or "should I get help?" ... yes - you probably should! (if you seek help and find out you don't need it - is that a problem? ... but if you don't get help and did need it - that might not work out so well ...)
Maybe I should do "Help" for my H post? - lol
(in the meantime, just do a search for "stress" or "depression" or whatever - there is a lot of information online ... almost too much ... )
and yes, I know - I am kind of talking in riddles, and might not be making much sense ... I am sure I have mentioned this before: I am weird ... lol
In the near (ish?) Future, there might be a Few more blog posts about my Feelings and things, depending how I Feel about things - lol
... and hopefully also a Few posts about other, more Fun, things ... like maybe next week, for the letter G, I can talk about one of the Fun thing that has sort of helped keep me sane For the last Few years - Going Geocaching :)
(but don't panic if I don't post next week, or even For a Few weeks (months?) - I am disorganised at the best of times, and my busy life might get in the way - so I might not have time to write that post - in which case I will have to do that one next time around :)
One more F thing:
... If you search for that on Twitter, you will probably find a heap of my tweets (and quite possibly other people's tweets as well) about Geocaching :)
...now "eff off" and go read a more interesting "F" post :)
Unless you want to look at this Funny photo of me First - lol
(One Mum recently sent to me, scanned From the Family album, taken when I was Fairly young)
Yes, I am still alive... Just realised it has been almost a year since I posted here. .. I really must fix that...
I have kind of been busy... Working at a job I have been doing for way to long, going Geocaching to keep sane (insane?)... Seems to be my current way of practising "mindfulness" (last year it was kayaking, and taking Sunrise photos while doing that... This year I seem to have somehow got in to finding at least one Geocache every day since just after Easter ... Not sure how many days I am up to now - I have a backlog of logging to catch up on ... Not just my usual disorganised - the last few weeks has been due to not only limited time to log, but also limited phone data/internet - I just had a 3 week holiday on the North Island of New Zealand (travelling around with my parents, in a hire campervan... And having baths in buckets - lol)... Got a local sim card with 1GB of data to play with... Used some of it for email and the odd look at Facebook and Twitter, and to tweet a few photos... And used most of it for finding Geocaches... Or using the listing's for geocaches that are at places we were going past/to to find things to see and places to camp for the night - lol
I thought I might find 5 or 10 caches the whole time I was there but I found one or more (about 8 a few times) every day - lol
But... Now I am home... and back at work... and life kind of sucks again... sigh...
Oh ... I just noticed that my Previous blog Post was also a P Post
for ABC Wednesday
... which means 25 letters have snuck by while I have been busy! - oops?!
So what have I been busy doing? ... er ... a lot of nothing much, some kayaking, a few other fun things, and ... a whole lot of sorting out and packing etc, and selling a house that belonged to my EX husband and I, and finding myself one of my own :)
Finally got said Property on the market about 3 months ago, and eventually found someone who liked it enough to buy it ... and in the meantime, while the agent was showing it to Prospective buyers, I was going and looking at all the Places I might want to live, and what sort of Property I might want to buy (unit? house?), and which Particular ones I liked/wanted to buy if they were still around when I had sold the other one ... Oddly enough, the weekend after finding a buyer - the Perfect Place Popped up on the market ... and I am now in the Process of Procuring it ... just waiting for the last bit of legal stuff to happen - the day the other place officially becomes the Property of the People Purchasing it, the new place becomes mine ... well - apart from the half the bank will own ... sigh ...
Hmm ... not sure if I really have any Photos Pertaining to this Post, but Perhaps I can Procure one ... ah this will do - I actually Pinched this Photo from the sales listing online ... So you can see a Picture of (what will very soon be) my Patio - lol
Anyway, time to go ... I only had time to Post this because I had a spare hour between finishing work and going to a Public lecture on a topic I am interested in (sciencey stuff :) ... then when I get home from the meeting I have more Packing to do ... the downside of moving house - actually MOVING all my stuff - lol
I am Particularly Pleased with this Panorama :)
... and when I thought that to myself, I thought "I wonder what letter Wednesday ABC
( http://abcwednesday-mrsnesbitt.blogspot.com.au ) is up to? Perhaps I could Post this there? - if, Perchance, they are up to the letter P soon" so I looked, and what do you know?! - that is the current letter - seems I almost missed it, but looks like it will still let me Post, rather than waiting until next round - lol
(It has been a Preposterously long time since I have Posted to by blog ... I seem to be too busy doing stuff to get around to blogging about it :)
Hmmm ... was hoping the Blogger app had improved ... seems not a lot ... Sigh ... is still flakey, and still won't let me do stuff like make bits of text into hyperlinks (if the Blogger app worked better, I would Possibly blog more often :) oh well ... I wonder if it will actually Publish this Post for me? lol
btw - the Photo was taken on my iPhone, Paddling around in my kayak on a Particularly Pleasant evening (yesterday)
Edit: logged in on a work computer to do something, decided to check what this post looked like while I was here ... added the hyperlink the app wouldn't do for me, noticed the Panorama Photo doesn't fit on the Page ... at least not on my screen - so you will Probably need to click on the image to see the whole thing ;)
I also edited my Profile - a couple things in there were a bit out of date ... funny that ... lol
Warning: W is for Weird? ... and this post sure fits that description - so read at own risk?! LOL
Why was this STILL in my drafts folder? (dated some time in 2011 ... !!!)
Why didn't I post it the first time? ... or the second time when I added stuff? ... oh yeah - because I wanted to add a particular photo that is home on the computer, that is not connected to the Internet, and I keep forgetting to go find it and put it on a USB or my iPad or something so I can add it when I am online somewhere - lol
Why don't I just post it anyway?
Why not? - I can add the photo in the next few days ... IF I remember to go find it - lol
... then again ... I can Wait a few days, then try and remember to post this as my W post, seeing that is What Wednesday ABC is up to next ;)
Of course I might not even be able to find the photo ... seeing I am not sure Which one it Was or When (or Where) I took it ... but I guess if I can't find it, I have plenty of other photos of Wattle, and Webs ... or something else W related ... lol
*saves post as draft ... yet again*
*logs back in ... several days later, on my phone*
ok ... not quite too late to post this for W this time around ... just remembered I had not posted it ...
Oh yeah - I was going to find a photo or 3 to put in here ...
Well - this one Will Work - I took it this Week - a Wet Web, spotted While Walking the dog in the fog :)
Rather Wonderful, isn't it? :)
Ok ... Time to post this ... OH poop! - I still need to make those URLs into actual links
*does lots of stuffing around with web browser and copy and paste etc. and gets annoyed because blogger app on phone does not do stuff like make text into links*
Ok ... Added A URL after one of the bits I actually wanted to make into links ...it might show up as a link in the blog ... if not, I will fix things next time I am online on a computer, if I remember - lol
The rest of this post is what was already in here before I added the ... Not so ... little bit at the top:
... and Why have I not been posting any Wednesday ABC posts?
hmmm - I Wrote most of this about 6 months ago ... not sure Why I didn't post it at the time though ... probably got busy and didn't get around to logging in and Whacking it up here in time to put it in the Wednesday ABC linky thingy ... so I Will have to see if I get there When it is time for W again - Which it Will be a couple of Weeks after I am typing this bit ... Which I am doing now because I found it when I was looking to see if I had a half Written T post saved as a draft ... I actually didn't, but I do have one that I started, that Was going to be S and T ... but I just posted my S one for this time around ... but I have Thought of at least one idea for IF I get Time to do a T post This week, which I probably won't anyway ... so this Weird W one just might be the next one after the S post I just posted - LOL
Well ... maybe I should just lose the first word of my blog title and call it "too late, as usual"? ... I have written several Wonderful ABC Wednesday posts ... in my head! LOL
(yes - that still applines now, as does the bit below ;-)
... but I just don't seem to have found time to actually get my act together and actually Write and post the darn things. Often it has been because I have been too busy/side-tracked to even get around to putting the photos onto the computer, let alone into the blog posts they Would be perfect for ... and some of those posts are the ones Which I have started Writing last time around and not finished ... others are just stuff that has happened more recently but I have not even started Writing them because I know I am not going to have time to add the photos in time to get my link into the list ...
Luckily my U idea mostly fits into W, as does my V idea ... Which was actually the same as U anyway (yes - I found a way to make it fit U, V and W - LOL)
I Was going to post about Unusual things ... and most of the Unusual things were going to be photos I took of stuff that has happened due to/in the Unusually Wet Weather ... Which is Why it could also have been a V post - for Very Wet Weather - LOL ... so now it might, providing I actually DO get said photos ONTO the computer, become a post mostly about ... Wet Weather - LOL
... or maybe not ... I might just save those for some other time - there is probably going to be enough other Weirdness in here already - lol
now ... What Was that other idea that I also thought of? ... not Weather related, but something I just thought of While putting some other (even older) photos on to the computer (I only had about 6 memory cards full of photos that I have not put on here yet!) ... it Was the reason I decided to start typing this post now, before I have actually got the photos ready to Whack in here ...
Well of course I remember ... it was this photo of spider Webs on some Wattle:
hmmm - I Wonder Where that photo Was ... I might be able to find it again, if I can remember When I took it ... (my photos are filed in folders, named according to the year/month I took them in)
... Which I took While going for a Wander in the ANBG
(the Australia National Botanic Gardens ... actually that link points to more than just the gardens ... they have all sorts of botany/etc information on that website)
Actually I think it might be the Wattles that I Went there to see ... they had a display, Where they got one each of as many species of Wattle as they could and arranged them all in their "family tree" to show each one was related to each other one ... or something like that ... a bit Weird ... but interesting.
While I am here ... this afternoon I spent quite a While playing with GIMP (some free software, for editing/etc images, that I downloaded/installed last night) ... and, among other things, I created this Weird Wiggly thing:
... Which, hopefully, WILL Wiggle ... if not here, then maybe try clicking on it to go to the full size version - which is already active online (yes - even before I post this - because blogger sticks them in an online album as soon as I upload them), and it seems to be working fine ...
It is an animated .gif - another result of my messing around with GIMP when I probably shoudl be doing other stuff - LOL
btw, it Was part of a picture of some trees against the sky ... lol
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