Here is a sample subscription for you. Click here to start your FREE subscription
- Walk A Mile...2009 Pics, Highlights & Thanks!
- UMKC's 3rd Annual Walk A Mile In Her Shoes
- Why misogyny in sports culture?
- Is Rape Serious?
- Another installment of a feel good story: "A Journal for Jordan"
- More Recent Articles
- Search KC Man Up!
Is there anything harder than walking in heels up and down hills or stairs or while pushing a stroller on a college campus? Last night on the campus of the University of Missouri Kansas City, nearly a hundred men found out first hand and gained a new appreciation for what women are put through to look "fashionable" or "sexy" in our culture. 200 more people came out to support these men as they took a stand to speak out against sexual violence.
Walk A Mile In Her Shoes has been around since 2001 but has received some critism of late for making a mockery of women's experience as well as limiting the victimization of sexual violence -- as if it only happens to women. Both are valid points. I believe this march creates space to begin conversations about how men and women can partner together to end sexual violence. High heels are only a representation of ALL the devices that are meant to keep women, collectively, "in their place". As you see above, many men take on other devices in this walk as well such as pushing a stroller, wearing hose, painting their nails, and wearing skirts.
Even in walking in these shoes for a mile, participants recognized that they will not fully comprehend what it means to be stereotyped and oppressed by these things daily. That said, many men complained of blisters, turned ankles, and felt gawked at during the march as well as many reported they did not know how women dawn heels ever after their mile experience. For men to catch a glimpse of women's daily experience, have an opportunity to broaden their awareness about how sexual violence impacts their loved ones, and learn that they can be a part of the solution by becoming active allies in their communities -- this is the goal of "Walk A Mile" events and I believe that was accomplished at UMKC's 3rd annul event.
Thanks to all that participated and supported the event. It was great to see so many campus and communtiy men and women join together to walk in support of ending sexual violence. A special thanks to the UMKC's Women Center for making this event possible.
UPDATE: Cross posted at UMKC's Women Center.
UMKC's 3rd Annual Walk A Mile In Her Shoes is only a week away, please feel free to come out and support us! Or, better yet, march with us by signing up at UMKC's Women's Center.
For more information about men's activism as a part of "Walk A Mile In Her Shoes" please visit their website here.
Why is it that an aspect of sports culture appears to go hand in hand with misogyny?
I have been listening to a lot sports talk lately on the subjects of Ben Roethlisberger and Erin Andrews, reading articles about both, and reading the comments from sports fans after the articles. In both, hearing what is said by radio sports talk show guys and the comment sections by knucklehead sports fans I find myself really disappointed in recognizing how today’s sports culture and misogyny goes hand in hand.
It has been really interesting to see how sports culture handles these two incidents and, specifically, the women involved. In the report of Roethlisberger’s alleged sexual assault, many have jumped on his bandwagon to show blind support for their “hero” and suggesting the reason they do so is because of all they “know” about him or that they know him so well that they are on first name basis with him. What many know about Ben is his on-field performance and accomplishments but most of us have no clue what he is really like off the field, including how he treats women in his life. (To be honest, I don’t know Ben nor do I know a thing about his criminal history or his significant other relationships other than he’s not married.) On the other hand, most in sports culture do just the opposite with McNulty. Though we know she held a high position at Harrah’s Hotel and Casino, many fans immediately assume she is a “gold digging-jersey chasing- psychotic slut” simply because they would prefer not to wrongly condemn their pal Ben . ESPN even chose not to run the story, at first, taking a silent bystander approach of support for Ben.
I get, to some degree, if sports culture wanted to fault on standing up for their own but their reaction to Erin Andrews shows me that is not the case. In case you don't know, Andrews is a sideline reporter for ESPN and recently someone has posted peeping tom videos of her on the internet. Andrews has been described as “the woman every man loves”, “THE sexy sideline reporter”, “sideline siren” and “America’s sexiest sportscaster” by not just fans but many media networks and outlets. As opposed to Ben, Andrews is shown support for how she looks rather than her on camera work and accomplishments as if that’s all that matters to sports culture. What’s worse is that many in sports culture have belittled the violation to Andrews or are proposing that women have no place on the sideline or sportscasting in the first place. Even a local sports talk show I have generally found respectable in these matters was discussing what other sexy sideline reporters they want to see in slimy videos or nude photos. I was not surprised one bit, however, when the other local sports talk show discussed how it is the fault of the networks for putting "sexy girls on the sidelines" and how this wouldn't have happened if Andrews was "homely".
Look, I'm an avid sports fan and usually stand up for the values that sports provide youth as well as the entertainment college or professional sports provide adults. There's a lot about sports that I don't like including the power and privilege we give to certain athletes, the money that's thrown around, and, among other things, the exploitation of young athletes for their physical talents over and above their intellect, character, or other talents. But it absolutely disgusts me when stories like these come out and sports fans, members of the sports media, and sports networks are quicker to feed and support misogyny as if it were intrinsic to sport rather than consider justice for the victims.
We would prefer to think that these, and incidents like them, are rare or some shadow side of sports culture rather than consider that sports culture is intrinsically misogynistic. But in order for us to believe otherwise, two things must happen: 1) incidents like these must decrease in sports; 2) more men need to speak out against the sexism and misogyny we see in sports culture. I am convinced that in order for (1) to happen we need to put more time and energy in (2). That is why I was grateful to find this article by Jim Williams of the Washington Examiner who not only supports Andrews but all women sports casters that are "subjected to ridicule and sexual innuendo despite, in most cases, being smarter and knowing more about sports than their male colleagues." Unfortunately, I have not seen many men in sports culture that are willing to put themselves out there not only to not judge McNulty but also to consider her side of the story apart from what they know of Ben’s on field accomplishments.
UPDATE: Two more male journalist speaking up & out about who's to blame and how these incidents are a show of men being men at their worst.
A friend passed this article on to me and it really is a great piece about the seriousness of rape. Nicholas Kristof, author of the Op-ed, focuses on how our criminal justice system has deemed the crime of rape as trivial by leaving countless rape kits untested. He shares a story about a suspect that sexually assaults two more victims while the rape kit of his first victim remains unprocessed.
To many of us working in the field of Sexual Violence Prevention this story is all too familiar and we are very aware of how often these undetected rapists will strike again before being caught. Still, the statistics in this article struck me in the wake of the "Swine Flu" scare (less than 5,000 victims) which has recently been elevated to pandemic status despite the fact that influenza (aka, "the common flu") continues to infect more people (200,000 victims) and is responsible for more flu-related deaths. What catches my eye at the moment is how sexual violence, by comparison, is a far more wide spread problem in that there are nearly a million victims worldwide each year (including 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men in the United States), yet, it remains one of the lowest priorites to be dealt with as shown in Kristof's article.
When will we take rape seriously?
A friend recently told me the story behind this journal which was explained to me as a father to son version of "PS I love you" -- which I have no problem admitting that I actually liked the movie (even though I never read the book). I was immediately taken in by the fact that a parent, especially a father, had the foresight to write down everything that he wanted his child, in this instance a son, to know just in case he was not around to teach him.
What a daunting task! I recently have become a parent and can not even began to imagine all the things that I would want to write down in such a journal to make sure my son would know, just in case I'm not around to teach him. I also can not imagine how this father was able to write such a work of love under the pressure of war, where the harshest realities of life are continually on display.
I went to the local bookstore to read more and found that the book leans more towards telling the love story between the parents than advice giving between father and son. Many people on Amazon have given bad reviews because of this fact. But, I got to tell you that a father that professes a legacy of love for his partner might be leaving behind some of the best advice his son will ever receive. Sure, there are a lot practical things to teach a 2 year old before they become an adult. However, I am certain that the most practical thing for a young man to learn is how to treat women in his life with love, equality, admiration, and respect.
Without his father in his life to model these essential characteristics as an emotional coach, what more for his father to do then to write his personal journey to manhood in a journal to his son? We need more young men to learn these things and more fathers to mentor the young men in their lives about why loving and honoring women in their life is so important.
More Recent Articles
