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- Parenthood as a Profession
- Natural + Synthetic = Natural?
- Freddie Mercury, Salute
- Second Hand isn't Necessarily Second Rate
- Scent of the Holidays
- More Recent Articles
- Search C o t t e r J a m e s........ in the Natural World
Family members, life-long friends and people who hold a place of authority in your life are all too capable of throwing you under the bus, walking away instead standing up and leaving you holding the bag with resentment that will last for the rest of your life.
Let's start with Parents. Parenthood is greatest Unprofessional Profession on the planet. No entry exam, continuing education or application required. Simply profess a desire to scratch an itch within the bounds of marriage or not, and every applicant is instantly granted the status of parent.
It goes straight downhill from there. Ironically all children eventually turn into clones of their parents to some degree, so this thread of screwing up generation after generation comes honestly. Just ask the children. They will promptly tell you who is the favored, who is the loser and who is the one who did everything just right and still gets lost in the shuffle with nothing to show for their success as far as the parents are concerned.
Think I'm kidding? Listen to the outcome of inheritance stories. The youngest gets the most because they never were quite able to make it on their own. Not surprising since the parents never allowed the kid to suffer the consequences of their poor choices and lack of ambition. So the parents bale them out once more by leaving them more to make up for being such lousy parents. The youngest kid is the one who leaches off everyone. The baby of the family gets away with murder while being patted on the head. This brat is the one who never grows up.
The oldest kid gets some, but actually a pittance compared to the responsibility shouldered for the parents in their declining years. The older kids usually live closer and hang in there with all the chores and medical stuff. The other kids (except for the baby), live far away, barely phone in their support and nothing more. The oldest kid is the one on whom the parents pinned all their hopes and plans. These are the kids who are saddled with most responsiblity and expectations.
The middle kid usually loses out completely. The middle kid is the one who made it on their own and parents continue the life-long practice of ignoring this one. Ironically, the middle child usually fairs better in life simply by virtue of the lack parental interference during the formative years. Left alone, these kids usually do a fine job of finding themselves, all by themselves.
Even if the parents do a passable job of making everything fair in the end, the kids will apply past resentments and excuses to explain why one of the others seemed to end up with more or why they didn't.
Does it seem I'm being to hard on Parents? Sure I am. Parents are only human after all and that's the problem. So here is some advice on curing the Parent Trap. Parents need to make a serious attitude adjustment as soon as each kid turns 25. So on each child's 25th birthday, hand them the following declaration of independence:
"We did the best we could and now you are on your own. We are no longer responsible for your laundry, shortfalls on car payments, rent, groceries, loans or relationships. Go where you want; do what you want and send us a postcard. We love you enough to make sure you have every opportunity to prove us wrong and expect that you will do so with style and success. Good Luck!"
Don't be afraid that the kids won't be around to take care of you in your old age. You won't need them if you stick to the plan. All the money you worked so hard to make and save will be there to take care of you if you don't continue to dole it out to kids along the way. Treat all the kids fairly and equally. Don't leave more to one because they didn't achieve as much as the others. Don't leave more to another because they worked harder.
Good luck and enjoy your life.
Is a 'Natural' product laced with synthetic ingredients still 'Natural'? We don't think so. Is soap marketed as Natural really natural if it includes ingredients like Sodium Stearate, Sorbitol, Propylene Glycol, Sodium Laureth Sulphate (SLES), Sodium Laureth Sulphate (SLS) or Ceytl Alcohol? We don't think so.
Here a few definitions of ingredients found in products marketed as Natural:
SODIUM LAURETH SULFATE, or sodium lauryl ether sulfate (SLES), is a detergent and surfactant found in many personal care products (soaps, shampoos, toothpaste etc.). It is an inexpensive and very effective foaming agent made by mixing sulfuric acid, monododecyl ester, and sodium salt
SODIUM LAURYL SULFATE is prepared by esterification of sulfuric acid with dodecanol (lauryl alcohol, C12H25OH), followed by neutralization with sodium carbonate.[1] It is used in both industrially produced and home-made cosmetics.
TETRASODIUM ETIDRONATE is used as a water softener in soaps to prevent soap scums and bathtub rings by locking up the calcium and magnesium in the water.
Compounds with similar functions are sodium carbonate, sodium edta, sodium citrate, phosphoric acid, and tetrasodium pyrophosphate.
CEYTL ALCOHOL is a nonionic surfactant used as a hair coating in shampoos and conditioners.
It is used as a water based lubricant for fasteners such as nuts and bolts.
Cetyl alcohol is used as an emollient (skin softener), emulsifier, and thickener in creams and lotions.
PROPYLENE GLYCOL and butylene glycol are often used as humectants (moisturizers) as they are hygroscopic (they draw moisture from the air).
Propylene glycol is what is used in artificial smoke or fog machines. It is also used as a preservative.
The point is floating some natural olive oil or coconut oil in a base of the synthetics listed above don't for a natural product make.
So look at the label. Latin names are usually listed for all botanical and natural ingredients but they will look completely different than chemical names of manufactured ingredients.
We think Natural means simple and real. Adding a little natural oil to a synthetic base shouldn't be marketed as natural because it's not. That is simple and real.
Seventeen years ago last month, I experienced the news that the Great Freddie Mercury had passed. I was, like most Queen fans, devastated. During the last 17 years, Freddie fulfilled the prophecy of legend. His name still conjures visions of the handsome, incredibly talented musician and greatest front man of any group ever. Those memories are powerful and enduring.
Queen continues by the breath and talent of Roger Taylor and Brian May along with the vocal lead of Paul Rogers. Is it still Queen, you ask? Yes and No. Brian once made a statement that Queen was greater than the sum of the individual members and that is so true. Try as each of them did to produce music outside the realm of Queen, the results were at best passable but individually, none achieved the 'sound', the 'soul' that is Queen. As an extraordinary note, each of them wrote #1 hits and that has never been done by any other group. It is obvious to everyone that the talent of each member played off the strengths of the others and we will continue to benefit from that result for as long as the music can be played.
I could never believe that Freddie would have said his last goodbye expecting Roger and Brian to fade away. I'm no expert on every aspect of Queen, but I do know that with the last of his strength, Freddie kept laying down every note he could so they would have material, and not because he thought they couldn't produce without him. I think rather he wanted to leave them something to focus on, to tide them over and gentle them through the whole ache of missing him as best he could. He still had music in him and he was trying to get down as much as he could before he left. I don't know that the fans entered into that mix, but I know my heart was healed in some small measure to hear his voice after he was gone.
Freddie has been gone for 17 years. But that only means that we haven't heard his voice in anything new for the last 16 years. Queen endures because they are now doing exactly what they used to do. Innovate, write, record and perform. A part of Queen came from each one of the guys and I know the sound is there. I know the strengths of Brian and Roger will take up the hole left by Freddie's passing. It will take a little time and the sound may change just a little. But that is Queen, ever changing. I am thankful that Brian and Roger continue. I'm thankful because I am still able to hear Queen live. And I'm thankful that Brian and Roger continue to include Freddie in the mix and I'm thankful they are still writing and recording. The sound will change a little, but Queen never will.
I'm going to add a link here to a tribute recently added to YouTube and I hope you enjoy it as much as do. Now I'll close with a heart-felt thank you to Brian May, Roger Taylor and John Deacon. Thank you for the music.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhbFeYeP4DE
Have you noticed the condition of the economy has everything to do with our urgent desire to redefine our frugal ways? It seems we are in the midst of such a revival . I've noticed an increased number of blogs, articles and tips outlining ways to save money on those things we must have, and ways to recycle what we already have.
So I'm going to add my two cents from personal experience! I was raised in a very frugal household. Which is not be be confused with 'cheap'. Cheap simply wasn't done in our home because cheap was a waste of money. 'Buy well the first time and take care of it', that was our motto. Sometimes that meant buying something secondhand because it was a better value for the money and expectation of use.
I think we are familiar with second hand clothing shops like Goodwill, Salvation Army and the scores of consignments shops. Now some people stalk these secondhand shops looking for that treasure someone else threw out which is worth its weight in gold. I stalk them as the first line of shopping for clothes. I used to find great clothes for my son when he was young. When kids are at the stage of growth where they outgrow things before they've worn them out...secondhand is the only way to go in my book.
I recently found a brand new designer white cotton dress shirt with the tags intact for $6, well below the retail price and just my size. I found two sets of Laura Ashley cotton window curtains complete with tiebacks and fully lined for $10. Now I do a lot of sewing with cotton and there is enough excellent quality yardage in those curtains to make a dozen pillow cases, cushions, tote bags with enough left over the make some sachets, wrist cuffs and add several squares to my recycled quilt.
But remember, great buys are only great if you saved money on something you were going to buy anyway. It has to fit, it has to be useful and it has to be reasonable. Don't waste money on something you'll have to fix because you'll never get around to it.
It's winter and the holiday season which smells like pine, cinnamon, cloves and oranges. Myrrh and Frankincense are in there somewhere along with peppermint candy canes and apple pies. So how do you spread the scent without spending a ton of money on candles?
Pull the vanilla extract from the cupboard and put a few drops on the light bulb in the living room, bedroom and family room. The heat from the bulb will disperse the scent beautifully. I use orange extract and a couple others too.
A few drops in a pot of simmering water on the stove will accomplish the same wonderful scent drifting through the house as well as add humidity to the air. Gather a few pine branches from the local tree lot or reserve the lower branches you cut from the tree you brought home and break them into little pieces. Add them to the simmering water for the fresh scent of pine.
You can use cinnamon sticks, allspice, whole cloves and other spices you will find in the cupboard. Citrus peel holds the aromatic essential and placing the peel (cut off most of the white pith) in simmering water releases the essential oil into to air.
If you would prefer to use essential oils (pure, not the synthetic versions) it's simple to add drops to simmering water, light bulbs and to the melted wax of an unscented candle, (just don't put the oil right on the flame!)
So save your money and don't buy those overpowering nasty synthetic fragrance candles! Gently scent your home with the ingredients you already have in the cupboards.
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