StudentHostMom writes with a question about overnight childcare.

Our contract strictly forbids leaving the kids alone with the au pair overnight.

Our main reason for getting an au pair was to support me as I returned to classes, part time, to finish my college degree. Since my husband travels all week, every week, our Au Pair has the kids briefly in the morning fore school and then again in the afternoon.  We have yet to use more than 37 of our au pair hours (usually more like under 30), so there is room for me to schedule more work hours for her.

Recently a job opportunity arose in my field, but the position is a night one. I’d have to leave the kids alone (while sleeping) overnight and would be back in the morning to see them on the bus. It’s a wonderful opportunity, but I’m wondering how to handle the logistics of it. It would be 2-3 nights a week, not anything outrageous, and there is every chance those nights will fall on nights when HD is home. But that’s not something that can be guaranteed.

I don’t want to have to hire an additional sitter to to sleep in the house overnight. I’d rather have our au pair be ‘on duty’ those hours, count them as part of her work week, and shift around other hours to keep her under 45 hours.   An alternative might be to ask her to be ‘on duty’ those overnight hours, and pay her extra for these hours.

 Both options, of course, violate my Agency’s...

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What do our au pairs really think of us Host Moms?

Every now and then I wonder about this.

Au Pairs see us at our very worst mommyness (e.g., wet hair, no makeup, screeching about laundry) and at our very best (snuggling our kids, solving problems, singing in the car).  Au Pairs also see what we can’t see — because we’re too crazy-busy to take time out to reflect on what a great job we’re doing as moms.

Au Pairs have the inside scoop on us host moms. But most times, host moms never find out exactly what it is we do that you au pairs think is wonderful, because it seems impolite to ask for specific examples of how great we are.

So, let me (aupairmom) ask on behalf of all host moms:

What do you see when you see us, your host moms, at our very best? 

Please leave your thoughts, below, as a (Host) Mother’s Day gift for all of us host moms here at Au Pair Mom,

Image: Mom, Mirror, & Son  Some rights reserved by theloushe

     

This week, many host families received letters from their Au Pair Agencies and/or from the Alliance for International Education and Cultural Exchange. (Note: The Alliance is an advocacy group for cultural exchange programs. Many au pair agencies are members). Previously, we’ve received requests to contact our Representatives about changes in Tax Law.

This time, it’s US Immigration regulations.

(See links below for more details. A sample of the letters to the host families is also below.)

The Agencies and the Alliance are urging Host Families to contact our Senators and express our opposition to the changes. Should we follow their recommendation? 

A few host parents have emailed me  to express their concern about the proposed changes. Others have emailed questioning whether the Agencies’ and Alliance’s perspectives on the issue are really the best approach for doing what’s right by au pairs, host families and the exchange programs themselves.

For example, JJHost Mom emailed:

Personally I’m disturbed by the idea (in the legislation) of specifically saying that au pairs aren’t workers, and that this isn’t a job for them.  It is a job, and it’s hard work.  It is also a cultural exchange.   It’s not one or the other.  

But I don’t know the legal implications of following this thought through. I would love to hear the opinions of the other host parents, specifically those in the legal profession or...

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It’s been a long time since we had our last conversation about Nanny Cams.

We’ve had a couple of suggestions for a post about them, but I have always resisted.   Only about 15% of host parent readers who took our poll back then reported that they even considered using a nanny cam.

Personally, I really dislike the idea of a nanny cam, and think that if you’re considering using one, you’re better off rematching with an au pair you trust.

That said, a German au pair emailed asking that we address the topic:

Recently on a moderated au pair group we had a discussion about nanny cams. It seems to be that German au pairs sign in their contract that it is okay and that some states require the host parents to have permission and others don’t.  I’d be really interested in what Host Parents think about nanny cams these days– whether people have them, why they have them, where they have them and if they disclose this to their au pairs.

~ HarrietAP

Have any of you host parents changed you minds about using a nanny cam?

Anyone who swore they wouldn’t, and then did?

Personally, I’d rather have a kiddie cam, so that I could watch my adorbs kids all. day. long.  But the school doesn’t allow that. sigh.

Image: Junior Detective Some rights reserved by theloushe

     

Yeah, it happens.  The phone falls out of a pocket into a puddle. Or a purse gets stolen. Whatever the reason …

If your au pair loses or breaks the smart phone that you provided for her/him, it is up to her/him to replace it, or to pay to replace it.

One of our au pairs lost a cell phone when she was on a long trip with AP friends… It was pretty fancy (fancier than mine at the time). She found the same model of phone- used- online, and bought it. She took it to the Verizon store and got it activated with her/the au pair phone number, and it all worked out.

We appreciated that she not only took care of replacing the phone (in nearly exactly the age & condition her original one was), she also took care of the administration and schlepping that replacing the phone required. Great job, au pair!

But it’s always complicated. Like the au pair car, smartphones are both a privilege and expectation, an ‘extra’ and required for the job. A ‘work’ thing and a personal thing.

As NYAPHost Mom writes:

We provided our AP (our first) with a Droid Smartphone – a relatively new one. She lost it in a bar (claimed it was stolen but really, what difference did it make – it was gone).

DH was about to get yet another new phone at the time AP’s was lost/stolen so he offered to let her buy his then current phone at a discount to the value he was going to get to trade it in – around $150.  More or less, she paid to replace...

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