"AuPairMom" - 5 new articles
Does anyone offer a reference to the Au Pair candidates they are interviewing?
While every Au Pair candidate lists at least two references that Host Families can email or call, I’ve never heard of Host Parents offering references to Au Pair candidates.
This seems to be a vestige from the days when it was assumed that Host Families “chose” and Au Pairs “accepted”.
Offering the candidate a chance to talk with a former au pair or even a babysitter is one way to put a little more information in the hands of the candidate. We do something similar to “offering a reference” when we give a candidate the contact information of a previous au pair or encourage them to talk with our current Au Pair.
But, does anyone offer a reference as a matter of course?
(True, a candidate can easily search the web for info about you, check you out on LinkedIn, and look up your address on Google’s street view to see if your house is pretty. But that’s not the same as hearing about you from a neighbor– even if the neighbor is your best friend.)
Offering a reference can be a nice gesture. Does anyone do it?
Host Parents who have partners have lots of choices about when — and even whether — to involve both parents in the Au Pair Interviewing process.
I’d love to know, among our readers, what the most common patterns are of getting each other involved.Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.
Obviously, if you have a spouse or a parenting partner, you’re going to want to involve them in the au pair interviewing and matching process.
This can happen at many different steps in the process and at different levels of depth. Some parents prefer to have one parent be the “lead sled dog”, do most of the sorting & scheduling, and inviting the partner in to the second (or even later) conversation with the candidate. Others prefer act jointly the whole time. Still others prefer to take turns or let whoever has a free moment take the next step.
Whatever process you choose, I recommend that at the very least you and your partner:
(1) work together to identify the qualifications and qualities you are looking for,
(2) you discuss together your parenting and hosting philosophy,
(3) have a joint conversation with the candidate, and
(4) make the final decision together.
I recommend this for two reasons.
First, the au pair is going to live in the house with both of you, and care for the children of both of you. If one parent is not comfortable with the au pair, it will...
Hi AuPairMom! I would love to hear from au pairs about their favorite places in the U.S. to take weekend trips.
We always seem to end up with au pairs planning weekend trips around our kitchen table, and I’m struck by the places au pairs really want to visit. Vegas and Niagara Falls seem to represent the epitome of American culture in the minds of au pairs, whereas many Americans would view them as inauthentic or the ultimate tourist trap.
For example, some au pairs seem to think of Texas as a place where they’ll get to see Old Western ghost towns and wide open vistas. We try to explain that in 3 days in Dallas or Houston without a car, you’re likely to be spending more time in shopping malls and chain restaurants than on a dude ranch.
We’d probably steer them towards somewhere like New Orleans, Memphis, Nashville or Charleston, where you could get a Southern experience on a budget with a side of history, music and nightlife in a compact, walkable city. But maybe I’m just projecting my own preferences, where a young person might have much different criteria for a good trip.
Since we’re often asked to give input, I’d love to hear from au pairs:
If you had 3-4 days to visit a new city, where would you go? Where have your favorite trips been?
I’m thinking less of places like San Francisco or the Grand Canyon that you might plan to hit on your travel month, but cities you would explore with a friend over a long weekend.
There are some Host Parent – Au Pair situations where, once they happen, you can’t really do anything. Except get steamed.
Even when it’s more than just the Au Pair’s behavior, getting steamed at that other Host Family or even at the Au Pair Agency that let it all happen doesn’t actually help you.
So, I get it. You email Au Pair Mom with a polite, tidy, appropriate rant. And then, we post it so that members of the community can tell you:
You’re not nuts to be mad.
And…… what else?
Is there anything we can say that helps?
Here’s the email:
Dear AuPairMom — We were in rematch at the end of July, and we matched with a 9-month extension au pair. Her first family had wanted her to extend with them, she said she wanted to try something new, so even though she loved them, she chose to move forward with extending with another family- us.
Last weekend, she had friends from her last state visit. As they picked her up, she informed me one of the friends was her serious boyfriend. (I never would have chosen her had I known she had a serious attachment back there!!!!!) Four days after he left town, she announced that she wants to rematch, and since her old Host Family is also in rematch, she plans to rematch with them.
WHAT!!!!!!! Is this allowed? Can an Au Pair choose to extend somewhere else, and then when she feels lonely for her old life, match back with the old family?!?
Honestly we are now happy to say goodbye to...
Hi Folks- A mom reported that she did not get the most recent post via email. Mailchimp recently upgraded, so I’m wondering if this has created a problem for everyone or if it’s just this one subscriber… so this is a test post. Soon, back to our regular programming. cvh
More Recent Articles