"Krissi's Konfessions" - 5 new articles
Paper, Pranks, & Pandemonium
So, my class delivered the following letter to her class one day during 2nd period:
To General Chesney's 2nd period Algebra Class: And accept Chesney's class did! They came down and brought a piece of paper with the note "BRING IT! YOUR CLASS IS GOING DOWN!" One of my students looked at it and said, "Recycle THAT." This reminded us of our real goal here - and any communication over this competition could no longer be done on PAPER... lest we help the other class out. So, Mrs. Chesney got cute when she went to our principal and convinced him to put a message on our brand-spankin' new digital scrolling marquee outside. My students and I stood at the window as the marquee scrolled through announcements and then there it was - a message for us. "MRS. CHESNEY ACCEPTS THE CHALLENGE AND WILL WIN THE PAPER DRIVE CONTEST!"
This was war, indeed. Sevies vs. Crazy Eights... English vs. Math... Me vs. Chesney 
The following Tuesday, several of my Sevies stayed after school to pull our first prank. After succesfully (and quite sneakily) stealing a master key from a friend, we launched an attack of toilet paper on Chesney's room. We braided, tied, knotted, and made bows out of toilet paper and arranged it nicely all over the room - providing space for class instruction to still take place. I will confess, we had several moments in the dark where we were hiding from other teachers in the hall... we didn't want anyone blowing our cover! Then we posted a sign outside the door that said "THE SEVIES ARE GONNA FLUSH THE CRAZY 8'S!"   
Chesney was shocked and her students were indignant that we had taken such a stand against them. From the moment we returned to my room after our escapade, I told my students that the Crazy 8s were vicious and they would attack me personally... with something fishy! Ever since Phantom Island came out with Whitnee having a fish phobia based on my own, my students have been bent on bringing a live fish to class just to freak me out. I knew I had just invited the perfect opportunity for their best laid plans to come to fruition.
And I was right. A few days later, the Crazy 8s stayed after school trying to prank me. They were so obvious that I pretended to leave school and locked myself inside a dark classroom, waiting patiently at my desk to catch them. Sure enough, they came running with another master key (no thanks to Palmarchuk for supplying it!!) and opened the door and BAM! There I was. They froze in fear and then ran. I felt kind of bad so I intentionally showed up a little later to school the next day - giving them time to pull their prank.
But, OH. MY. GOSH. I had NO IDEA to what level of artistry they would go just to prank me! I got to school and my room was an UNDERWATER haven with foam sea creatures and seaweed hanging all over my ceiling. (They used our pretty toilet paper, dyed it green and red, and that was the seaweed.) My desks were overturned with CAUTION tape and there was a pond in the middle of the room - and yes, a real live beta fish in a bowl in the center. They even brought the sounds of ocean waves and the room was covered with fishy paper cutouts and stickers. (I'm still finding them in places I didn't know...) Anyway, I was SO IMPRESSED with the creativity of my students that I couldn't tear it all down. We still have seaweed and stickers and the foam creatures up everywhere... 
As for the fishy, we sent them an email saying that my room had to be cleaned up after school OR...
After that, we halted pranks and focused on bringing in the most paper... And the results were announced today! Over two days, our school weighed (and dumped across the street) 7,348 pounds of paper (Over 3.5 tons!)
Our band kids brought in 3389 pounds of paper, averaging 67 pounds per person.
My class came in 2nd place with 875 pounds, averaging 51 pounds per person. And, yep, Mrs. Chesney's class brought in 801 pounds (with the help of another class pitching theirs to the cause against my Sevies), averaging 50 pounds per person.
WE BEAT THEM!!! Makes all the fish drama worth going through. But, really, the pranks were worth it to see such participation... Special thanks to Chesney for having "fun" with us and to my Principal for trusting us to not interrupt the learning process in the name of pranking!
 Straight Out of the Mouths of Teenage BoysEver wonder what teenage boys REALLY think about reading and books containing romance? Check out my guest author blog on Tina's Fantastic Book Review website where I address and quote some of the very cool teenage boys in my life.  Breaking Up Is Hard To Do (Unless You're In 8th Grade)This post will feature the confessions of a certain entertaining group of 8th graders I have the privilege of teaching this year. THE ASSIGNMENT: Write 2 letters breaking up with your soon-to-be ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. Use the same reasons for breaking up in both letters but change your diction and style so that each letter reveals opposite tones. THE RESULT: Hilarity. My students have given me permission to share some snippets from their writing and I will preface it by saying I learned two things. One, they all took this as an opportunity to say the completely psychotic and ridiculous things they would never say in real life. Two, I learned that most boys "broke up" with their fictional girlfriends for being annoying and suffocating, while girls "broke up" with their fake boyfriends for cheating - usually with best friends. I mean, could we BE any more stereotypical in middle school?! So here they are... the best snippets of the 8th Grade Break-Up Letters... (Girls are in purple, boys in blue.) "Dear Jack, Although we have been together for a long time, I think it is time we break up. I wanted to let you know that it's not me... it's YOU." -Jessica "You are a worthless, good-for-nothing midget. I will always remember AND REGRET this dreadful time we had together." -Tyler [Addressed to Meagan Fox] "My tall, beautiful goddess, you are a very special woman and did I mention you were beautiful?? But this long-distance relationship is not working out. I cannot physically touch you and feel your emotion over the phone." -Kolyn (Yes, he went there! I about died.) "Being unable to see your face everyday will put a bullet in my heart. I love your personality, but I had no idea who you became when you were around your friends." -Caleb "I feel like what we had is no more - we are two different people. I definitely didn't feel a connection to you when you dumped soda on my lap because you were staring at the girl at the movie theater so hard that you missed your mouth." -Jocey "You're a nice guy and all, but you're a pig. When we go out, you eat all of my food and don't even pay for it. I'm broke because of you!" -Cynthia "Dear Boxxy, why do you talk so much? Your opinion is somewhat annoying and rarely wanted. Also, for whatever reason, you have a smell about you, and it is, in one word: BAD." -Jonathan "You know what hurts the most, Buttface?! YOU STOOD ME UP AT PROM! You stood me up so you could eat taquitos with your grandma. Well, you know what? I'm done. DONE! We are OVER." -Chloe "I wish you wouldn't be so jealous... like at the movies when the girl handed me my popcorn? You flipped her on the counter and poured salt in her eyes. That made two restraining orders in one day. This is why I think we should 'take a break' and this is also why I'm moving to Istanbul, Turkey." -Josh "There is no way it would work in a million years between us. I hope I forget you." -Mitchell "Dear Antonio, what the french toast is UP with your FACE?!" -Amy "When you run for Student Council, I am going to make a pinata of your face and beat it with a wooden bat." -Sebastian "I really hope we can stay friends. It would mean a lot if we did... after all, my pet fish just died. Poor Mr. Whiskers! Well, I have to go have a funeral now." -Kearby "I have been secretly planning to push you off a building for the past 8 months, but I didn't do it ONLY because I don't want to go to jail because of you." -Nina (This is one of my sweetest, quietest girls in class - again, I almost died!!) "I feel no hope in resolving our issues. There is no solution to your stupidity that involves ME with YOU." -Shay "I know we have been together for three months now, but I can't go any further. It is too stressful having to worry all the time about whether or not you're okay." -Jacobie "You cheated on me with Makenna, Lexi, and worst of all, MALLORY! You know I hate her - why would you even go there?!" -Savannah "Dear Cinderella, I saw you cheating with Romeo. Almost two days ago, Juliet send me a letter saying that you two were going to dump us on the same day. I just want you to know that you really hurt my feelings." -David (Prince Charming?) "We are over, you insolent little petty smushed fly on someone's window! Yeah, you must have thought that little benevolent Bethany was at home knitting a dress while you were out with some tight-skirted, cheaply-lipsticked, high-heeled, IQ-of-2, giggly, little, clueless, moronic idiot of a girl date. Well you broke my heart so now my army brothers are going to break your FACE. You disgust me, you unwanted pimple on the face of humanity." -Bethany "You are the most controlling, neat freak ever!! I just pray that the next idiot who thinks you're hot or whatever is smart enough to get out of there before you show your true colors!" -Ashton "Why would you smooch and climb all over other girls when you have ME?" -Kaytlin "P.S. I want my jacket back! P.P.S. WASH IT FIRST!!" -Colten "Dear Allen, I liked you way more before I knew you. I know I'm being rude, but us? It's just not right. And by US, I mean, YOU." - Shelbi "Dear Harry Potter, I am writing this letter to tell you how SICK I am of hearing about how great you are. Who cares if you can fly on a broom or do tricks with your fancy wand? I know I sure don't! You're like the itch I just can't scratch." -Jessica "You are so backstabbing. And you copy me on everything! When I like the color purple, you like it. When I love pants, you love pants. Sorry, but I'm just so disgusted." -Shelby [To Ferb from Disney's "Phineas and Ferb"] "Dear Ferb, Whenever you asked me out, I only agreed because I felt bad for you with your huge eyes and green hair. But now, I don't think I can stand for my name to be associated with yours. We never did anything together because you were ALWAYS playing with your brother... Guys who wear purple pants up to their belly buttons have something wrong in their brain. I'm sure you understand." -Madison "You smell like a million dying wet dogs. You're so ugly, you could kill someone by looking at them. Your teeth are so crooked, you could open bottles with them. You can't shut up for five seconds and your voice is like an old man's. P.S. SHAVE YOUR LEGS." -J  Award-Winning Finalist In National "Best Books of 2009" Awards!
You can see the listings of the winners and finalists in each category here: Best Books of 2009 Awards
Thank you for your constant support and the continued interest in this journey! I feel like each of you is a part of the adventure with me!  Middle School Mental PicturesI confess that my classes of middle school students make my days enjoyable and challenging all at the same time. When I think about my time as a teacher coming to a close (as it very well could after this year...?), I grow apprehensive and sad. After all, my reasons for writing YA novels, as well as my writing itself, is so inspired by my interactions with my students. I keep wanting to take "mental pictures" of every moment in here (like Jim and Pam on The Office Wedding) so I can save up a huge mental album of memories.
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