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The Day I Became One of Them

I never thought I would become ‘one of them’. I never thought I would willingly give up most of the things my household holds so dear to their heart: frosting, ice cream, etc. I have officially become one of those moms who fusses over nutritional labels, food dyes, and …GASP… ingredients. I’m talking about one of the moms who lashed out on Twitter because KFC advertised their kids meal as healthy. Yes, I am okay knowing I have joined the clean(er) eating crazies.

The day I became one of them and started buying more fruits and vegetables #freshnfruti #cbias

The Day I Became One of Them

I will never forget the day I became ‘one of them’. I ran into the gas station on the way to a birthday party to buy a couple overpriced green juices because I didn’t get a chance to juice that morning. I sucked up the out of line price tag because I refused to get stuck with the temptation of sugary sodas surrounding me. I am strong. I will triumph over my sugary desires.

My heart beamed proud rays of “that’s my kid” as Michael ran around snatching vegetables from the food trays and annihilating pizza, all while drinking his green juice. (Pizza is included in our 20% allowance.)

Then I helped cut the cake.

It was a cake any child would love to have at their party. Heck, daddy Michael turned into a 4 year old when he saw a cake full of things we don’t have in our house. I admit I died a little inside when I realized this was the only dessert option. I thought to myself, “I should eat an all white piece because the others are chock full of food dye.”

It was at that very moment I became ‘one of them’.

Fruti natural fruit bars makes being one of them easier #freshnfruti #cbias

I am slowly winning over my family with tasty Paleo cookies, daily juicing, and gluten free splurges. You see, I am okay with slow and steady if it means I win the overall lifestyle race. With that said, I need to admit my secret weapon that rivals ice cream. I’m not even joking, guys! Chunks O’ Fruti® makes 100% natural fruit bars that have become a staple in my household. Honest to goodness… they have replaced any trace of ice cream in our freezer.

I have found something in Fruti I never thought I would, unless I payed out the rear like I do for my Paleo ingredients. These fruit bars don’t have any additional colors or flavors because REAL fruit is the first, and main, ingredient AKA no high fructose corn syrup (HFCS). Give it up for all natural food where the fruit & water-based bars are verified by the Non-GMO Project! *Insert round of applause*

Guess what, I didn’t have to trek down to Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods to purchase our Fruti bars! Kudos to Sam’s Club for trying to offer better options for families with different food requirements. The box is even separated into smaller ones so we can shove them in between all of our frozen chicken.

And now my journey for more delectable finds to share with my oh-so-skeptical family continues.

Although I am a member of the Collective Bias®  Social Fabric® Community, I was NOT compensated (or asked) to write a post about Chunks O’ Fruti®. I wanted to share my born again eating habits with you so you could be just as shocked as I was. :)

 

The post The Day I Became One of Them appeared first on Horrible Housewife.

   

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I Am Emotionally Awkward

I am emotionally awkward with little to no patience.

It’s true.

Emotions are evil and weakness… wellweakness isn’t in my vocabulary.

Watching someone slowly pass away is really interesting. Maybe interesting is the wrong word, but that is all I can think of right now. The past few days have taught me patience, what is important, and what an amazing family I am a part of. Great Grandma Sarah Andrews should be proud of what she created and she should be proud to pass the title of matriarch off to Granny.

Watching someone die is exhausting and emotionally awkward

Family doesn’t care if you smell and have dark circles

Right now, as I look around the room I see a combination of tears and dark circles sprinkled with strength. I see a family united around one common goal… to see grandma move on. We stay up as a group; we eat as a group; we say goodbye as a group; and we gather around her bed as a group. Witnessing what my family is capable of makes me so proud to say I am one of them.

But back to the interesting part of this whole experience.

All I can say is if you don’t have a faithyou need to witness someone with a strong faith as they finish their journey. #thatisall

Being emotionally awkward is breaking my funny meter

You learn a lot about yourself in tough times

Here is my poor attempt at being entertaining during this oh-so-not-funny post.

I have been drinking coffee… lots and lots of coffee. Starbucks’ delicious caramel frappuccino is my newest best friend, much to my weight loss and wallet’s chagrin. Although, I have been drinking it black with 3 teaspoons of sugar and peeing my brains out, OY!

See, that paragraph is me being emotionally awkward and not very funny.

Ps: I have rewritten this post a million times because nothing sounds right to me. It probably doesn’t make sense to you, and it probably has the worst grammar in the word, but it depicts just how jumbled life is right now.  This too will pass and I will return to my picture taking, booty shaking blogger self.

I kid.

I can’t shake my booty to save my life. :)

 

The post I Am Emotionally Awkward appeared first on Horrible Housewife.

   

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I’ve Got That Kardashian Swagger

Did you know the Kardashians are my sisters? My parents might not be Kris Jenner and Robert Kardashian, but I swear I am a Kardashian sister. You see, the producers of Keeping Up with the Kardashians put me up for adoption once they realized I was too outrageous for the rest of the cast. I guess I was meant to live as a Kardashian by means of the Kardashian Kollection at Sears. Sigh…

“I am a member of the Collective Bias®  Social Fabric® Community.  This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias®  and Sears #cbias #SocialFabric #ThisisStyle”

Become a Kardashian with affordable fashion from Sears #ThisisStyle #cbias

That right there is the face of a socialite, even if I only get my big break on my blog and YouTube. One day my empire will make me famous for more than just my 2012 Advent calendar!

My closet seems to think it is Kardashian worthy

NOW do you believe I am a wannabe socialite? I bought the majority of those clothes in a matter of weeks and I keep shopping despite my lack of room in BOTH of my closets. All I do is shop. All I think about is the next thing I need to shop for, like beach wear. Is there new clearance to check out? How many bathing suits do I need this season? What about sandals? I need sandals in every color to complete my Sears fashion obsession. I mean, I have sneakers in every color so it only makes sense, right? (That is just a little dose of the very random fashion thoughts that go through my head. You don’t want to know what else goes on in this brain!)

Helllpp meee…. I am spiraling out-of-control and I love it!

You can't be a Kardashian without trendy sandals to go with your sassy bathing suit #ThisisStyle #cbias

I found everything I needed and then some when I went to Sears… the most recent time. No, I’m not talking about the online shopping I did two days ago, this was last weekend because I wanted a specific bathing suit to round out my current array of suits. I wanted something sexy, something I wouldn’t wear to aqua baby class. I needed a bathing suit that people would never guess I bought at Sears and absolutely screamed MALLERY.

I was on a shopping mission and I am dangerous when I am armed with my Shop Your Way Rewards points. Down right dangerous. Thankfully I had just emptied my account on a different shopping spree or I would have purchased my second choice suit the same day! Have I mentioned I have a Sears style problem yet? ;)

Do you know how I know I am a Kardashian sister?

Sears fashion makes every mom glamorous with the Kardashian Kollection #ThisisStyle #cbias

BOOM! And now you know.

The post I’ve Got That Kardashian Swagger appeared first on Horrible Housewife.

   

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Pink Bud Light Birthday Game

Are you ready for a pink Bud Light drinking game in honor of Christy Gossett’s birthday? Give me a WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTT! (<~ Obnoxious, I know, but she is having a down in the doldrums birthday and that is so uncool.)

I drank Bud Light!

Did you see that? That was a Bud Light on my lips! ON MY LIPS! Bud Light was IN MY MOUTH! This is a huge deal because I don’t lower my standards for just anyone. I love you, Christy, have my babies. Seriously. My uterus doesn’t want to birth another human being for a long, long time. Not to mention, your rack won’t experience the pregnancy damage that mine would.

You are crazy for thinking you are officially old. You have the mentality of a 20 year old and you are friends with me. You know I don’t hang out with ‘old people’. ‘Old people’ aren’t fun and you, my dear, are a flipping hoot! Case in point- you prefer Pullups and Bud Light to my Poise and wine. Wait a minute… does that make me the old broad? That wasn’t the point I was trying to make!

Christy Gossett AKA Sparkle Pants is the happiest when she pops the top of a Bud Light

Christy’s birthday poem

Here’s to the nesticles we grow and the laughs we can’t control; the shops we stalk and the late night talks. Here’s to the welcomed distractions and our differences in fashion; dowin‘ the beers and spillin‘ our fears… I’m happy to say I’m not going anywhere, my dear.

Note to my bestest friends: I need your birthdays in advance so I can get drunk in your birthday video and have it posted ON your birthday, not a few hours late. And don’t you dare tell me I should automatically know these things! I can barely remember the last time I took a shower!

 

The post Pink Bud Light Birthday Game appeared first on Horrible Housewife.

   

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Let the Treasure Hunt Begin!

It’s finally time for the treasure hunt I was talking about earlier! You can enter to win $1,000 in Good Cook Touch products by ‘hunting’ for the 115 codes on different blogs (see below) and different Good Cook Touch products. The participants who find the most icon codes will be entered to win one of three Good Cook Touch grand prize gifts.

Good Cook Touch Treasure Hunt

Search for Good Cook Touch Codes on these participating products.

You can also visit the other bloggers to find more treasure hunt codes.

Ps: You can get 10% off with promo code: HUNT, in addition to the instant 30% savings that comes with Touch products.

Good Cook 2QT batter bowl

Here is another Good Cook kitchen utensil giveaway! Aren’t you loving all of these big girl tools? I sure am!
a Rafflecopter giveaway

I received kitchen utensils in exchange for my promotion of this contest. All opinions are my own.

The post Let the Treasure Hunt Begin! appeared first on Horrible Housewife.

   

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