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She could hardly stop crying long enough to get a sentence out. “Sharon, I loved him so much (sob). I can’t believe he left the kids and me. What am I going to do?”
I gave her tissues, looked directly into her swollen eyes and said, “I know what you’re going to do! You’re not going to give up! You can’t!” He’s your first love, the father of your babies and you made a vow to God- for better or for worse. This is the worse and this is when you FIGHT for what you vowed to do.
I asked, “Is it another woman?” She wept even harder and said, “I don’t know.”
Alright. Get up out of that puddle of tears. Here’s what you’re gonna to do:
- Pray like you’ve never prayed before; for him and your marriage.
- When he comes to pick the kids up for the weekend, invite him in for dinner, make his favorite food. Talk to him about his work, life, health, dreams…
- Woo him back. Wink, wink—make yourself attractive. What attracts him to you physically?
- Pursue him!
She said, “Sharon, that’s all easy for YOU to say. I’ve already prayed and it didn’t work. She held her hands over her face and moaned, “I don’t even know what his favorite food is. We never ate together! He always got his own dinner. He would think something was up if I started asking him about work, life and stuff. We never did that, Sharon.” Her voice got stronger and she said, “And one thing’s for SURE… I’m not about to look like I’m chasing him! I’m NOT! If he doesn’t like me in my sweats…! He has to come get ME!” I didn’t do anything wrong to deserve this.”
I said, “If you love him and you want this marriage, you’ll need to do what it takes. Jesus said to love others as ourselves, even our enemies. Love him like yourself.”
She shook her head and said, “I just can’t do that, Sharon. I can’t.”
She married again.
He was a good man, for the most part.
One day, there was a knock at my door. It was her. She was crying, “Oh Sharon! He wants to leave me? MEN!! They’re all rotten!”
I put a cup of coffee in front of her and we sat at the same table. I said, “We’re ALL rotten without Jesus’ help. You know what I think the greatest enemy of marriage is?” She said, “No?” I said, “It’s not sex, money, kids, communication, pornography or the in-laws. It’s selfishness…
If I viewed my marriage as a 50/50 covenant, we’d be divorced by now. It’s a 100/100. That means we deny ourselves, sacrifice and live to serve the other- wholeheartedly. There’s been YEARS of my marriage where Dale could give little because he worked 80 hours a week and got home with nothing left for me. There were days I felt sorry for myself. Days I wanted to give up on my marriage. But I grew up in a family without a dad. And I was willing to sacrifice anything to keep my husband. He was a good man, working as hard as he could. He wasn’t cheating on me, nor was he abusing me. I would’ve been the selfish one if I hadn’t served him 100%.
We got through those years by the grace of God. But even to this day we BOTH have to sacrifice for the other and deny our own desires. It’s still hard, because selfishness is so much easier.
Wonder if your husband was really rotten and you still had to give all? Like Hosea in the Bible. He married a prostitute. They had three children. He couldn’t trust her and she gave NOTHING to him. He sacrificed EVERYTHING for her and stayed with her- even though she was “rotten.”
One day in eternity he will be rewarded for how he lived his marriage out and so will we- if we are faithful.”
Jesus, WE can’t do this without YOU! Help us to not be selfish. Help us to sacrifice our own desires for theirs. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
The couple stayed together!
Read: Marriage is Like Farming–It’s Hard Work
Cookie recipes: Gluten Free Soft Oreo
Do you know someone who needs prayer for their marriage? Satan is out to destroy families. Let’s pray for our families, today! Tell us who to pray for in the comment section, we’ll pray and it will enter your name to win some of my favorite marriage books AND two free movie tickets to see War Room!
The Encouragement for Today book has a devotion by me on The Honey Moon life. Personality Plus book has a story about Dale and I in it, telling how different our personalities are and the challenges that go with it. The Mystery of Marriage is one of my favorite marriage books and you get a free journal!