Sloka 80 from Dancing with Siva How Are Marital Problems Reconciled? When problems arise in marriage, Hindus study the scriptures and seek advice of family, elders and spiritual leaders. A good marriage requires that the husband be masculine ...
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Lesson 235

Sloka 80 from Dancing with Siva

How Are Marital Problems Reconciled?

When problems arise in marriage, Hindus study the scriptures and seek advice of family, elders and spiritual leaders. A good marriage requires that the husband be masculine and the wife feminine. Aum Namah Sivaya.


Success in marriage depends on learning to discuss problems with each other freely and constructively. Criticizing one another, even mentally, must be strictly avoided, for that erodes a marriage most quickly. Under no circumstance should a husband hit or abuse his wife, nor should a wife dominate or torment her husband. It is important to not be jealous or overly protective, but to have trust in one another and live up to that trust. Problems should be resolved daily before sleep. If inharmony persists, advice of elders should be sought. A reading and reaffirmation of original marriage covenants and an astrological assessment may provide a common point of reference and a foundation for mutual sacrifice and understanding. The husband who does not take the lead is not fulfilling his duty. The wife who takes an aggressive lead in the marriage makes her husband weak. She must be shy to make him bold. Couples keep a healthy attitude toward sex, never offering it as reward or withholding it as punishment. The Vedas say, "Be courteous, planning and working in harness together. Approach, conversing pleasantly, like-minded, united." Aum Namah Sivaya.

Lesson 235 from Living with Siva

Mentalities On Aging

Society in the Western world has no tolerance for the aged, only for the young. Therefore, the aged and the aging must look out for themselves and guide society into a new and mature outlook as to their value to society as senior citizens within society. In the Western world, the elderly are not respected. They are shoved aside, considered useless, as they interfere with the pursuit of the life and liberty of the younger people by giving advice and direction based on their experience. That's why Western people have to learn by their own experiences, because they have relegated the older generation to obscurity. It has become part of the culture. Not so in Asia. In Asian cultures traditionally the aged are venerated more and more each year for their knowledge, their guidance, their wisdom, their compassion, their existence. So much are they venerated in life, that when they have given up their Earth suit they are still venerated and invoked for their guidance, because of their accumulated wisdom and their new-found powers in the inner world, so that the family, which makes up society, moves forward uninterrupted by chaos or contention, wars and famine. These ancestors in the inner world guide and correct and hopefully are born again into the same family as a fresh, knowledgeable influence. This is how Asian families progress as institutions from one stage of development to another because of ancestor worship.

It might not surprise you to hear this, but everyone is getting older. A three-year-old will soon be a six-year-old; a twelve-year-old will soon be eighteen. There is a great difference between the eighteen-year-old and the six-year-old, and it all happened in twelve years. Society and parents are adjusted to the differences between a six-year-old and an eighteen-year-old. But Western society, and even modern Asian society, is dearth in adjustments to understand the differences between the forty-year-old and the eighty-year-old, their needs, their wants and their desires.

Western psychology says the older you get, the less planning you should do for the future; you should make short-term plans. This philosophy does not take into account that no one is ever too young to die, no matter how long-term his plans have been. "Agedness" is a state of consciousness of settling down, giving up and having nothing ahead in the future more than six months or one year. At seventy-five, I myself have a ten-year plan. I'm going to have another ten-year plan, then another one and still another one. Life is willpower. Life is not only physical. Death can be foreseen as an astrological time of trauma, and if given into, hey, you lose your Earth suit--no doubt about it! But if anticipated and known about, that and other lows in the cycles of the energies of life can be overcome with a strong mind and indomitable will, both of which never age, never weaken and are constantly, day by day, month by month, year by year, accumulating in strength and power.

Anyone who passively gives in to old age simply does not understand the process. He looks at his physical body and it looks different. But the twenty-year old looks different than he did when he was ten, and that was only ten years ago, and he is happy to look different. If the twenty-year-old is aloof from the world, having fun, and is frivolous and absents himself from the responsibility of the reality of the material world, he is forgiven, coached along. If the seventy-year-old were to be frivolous and absent himself from the realities of the world, he'd be dubbed senile. That would be the end of him.

Sutra 235 of the Nandinatha Sutras

Harmony Between Denominations

Siva's devotees, with hearts as big as the sky, love and accept Smarta, Shakta and Vaishnava Hindus as brothers and sisters, even if not accepted by them, and keep harmony by not discussing differences. Aum Namah Sivaya.

Lesson 235 from Merging with Siva

Methods for Self-Improvement

The next phase of your sadhana can begin when you have memorized the colors and their corresponding mental and emotional states and this knowledge is clearly defined in your conscious and subconscious mind. Start by giving yourself a thorough, honest, emotional and mental-maintenance examination. Begin by analyzing your fine, noble qualities and writing them on a piece of paper. Then, on the same piece of paper, note your weak, instinctive frailties. These are qualities you would like to get rid of or change to bring your nature into a more refined level of consciousness. Now, perhaps for the first time, you will be looking at yourself as a total physical, emotional, mental and spiritual being.

Next, decide which weakness needs attention first and begin applying what you have learned about flooding your aura with the color that will effect the changes you desire. If you are persistent in your efforts, you will be pleased with the results. Choose a failing in your character, such as jealousy. Once you've made up your mind to deal with jealousy and lighten the ugly, dark-brownish-green in your inner and/or outer aura, make a clear mental picture of light green and yellow and flood those colors into your aura by just a slight effort of your will. You do not have to exert much effort to do this. You need only relax and hold a clear mental picture of the desired colors. Visualize the two colors and project them out from the center of your spine into your inner and outer aura. That is all you have to do. As soon as the light green and yellow flood your aura, you will feel an immediate change in your mental and emotional state. The antagonistic feelings of jealousy will begin to fade. The opposite mental quality of understanding and the emotional quality of self-assurance will automatically be strengthened as a result.

Once you perfect this technique on one or two difficult traits, such as jealously, anger or resentment, you can begin to transform other weak areas of your nature, such as shyness, lack of self-confidence or being overly critical of others. The procedure is the same. And the best time to work on the area is when you have been propelled into it by something that happens to you. Each time you feel yourself entering one of these areas of the mind, and your awareness is consumed by one of these feelings--in which case your aura has taken on its corresponding colors--simply visualize the counterbalancing color and flood it into your aura.

If you are overtaken by anger and resentment--blackish red with streaks of yellow--visualize light blue entering your aura and surrounding your body. The light blue will neutralize the fiery reds, and before you know it the anger, and resentment are gone. Visualizing the light blue color actually drew your awareness out of certain areas of the instinctive mind into intuitive states. Instead of anger, you experience compassion and understanding. By making this part of your sadhana, you have acquired a fine new tool to cope with your instinctive-intellectual emotions and mental states.

There will be times, of course, when the pull of the instinctive-intellectual areas will be so strong that it will be difficult for you to visualize a counterbalancing color. So strong are the pulls of the lower nature that it may even be distasteful to think of the intellectual and superconscious colors. However, through performing this sadhana regularly, there will come a time when each time your awareness is pulled into an undesirable instinctive area, you will be able to exercise the inner nerve system of your soul body and bring the instinctive, intellectual elements of your nature under your control.


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These daily Master Course lessons are drawn from Gurudeva's 3,000 page trilogy on Hindu philosophy, culture and metaphysics, available in the full-color volumes of Dancing, Living and Merging with Siva at our Minimela online store.

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