Selah ~ Pause. Ponder. Praise.

Off to Cambodia!

2009-10-27T08:25:00.003-05:00

Hi my friends,

Can you believe the time is here? My team is Cambodia bound today, and well, tomorrow too. Our prayer calendar is in the previous post, so would love your prayers as the Lord leads you.

Connection~Confidence~Compassion--that's our theme to the verses of 1 John 3:1-3. Who knows what God will do, but I praise Him for it already!

Ponderings, Praises & Pictures upon return. I love you all.

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Cambodia Missions Trip Prayer Calendar

2009-10-20T12:54:00.001-05:00

CambodiaTeamPrayerCalendar[1]

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Does It Truly Make a Difference?

2009-10-19T13:52:00.002-05:00

I'm at the Internet Cafe today asking a bunch of questions. Come by and tell me how you feel: Click here for the Cafe.

Thanks!

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Pondering Confidence

2009-10-13T19:09:00.006-05:00

The countdown to Cambodia continues, only two weeks away today:

In my last post, I mentioned that on Day 1 of the conference for kids, we will be discussing "Connection"--with God and with others.

On Day 2, it's "Confidence: God created me to live out His plan and purpose with confidence in Him."

Amazing how the themes for these precious children seem to flow straight out of my own life. It's taken me years to identify myself rightly in this area, leaving the victim mentality of my childhood in the dust, praise the Lord for that.

Philippians 1:6 says, "being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

In other words, it's not confidence in myself that will get me through even a nano-second of my day...it's God-confidence. He lives inside of me, and He's ABLE as I'm willing! Love that.

How about you? Where is your confidence coming from? It works both ways, you know. Some struggle with a low view of self, others think that it is faith in their own self that makes life possible.

It's not, "I think I can, I think I can..."
It's not even, "I know I can, I know I can..."
It's certainly not: "No way I can, No way I can..."

So what is it?

It's "With Him I can, With Him I can..."
And "In Him I can, In Him I can..."
And best of all "Through me He can, Through me He can..."

The "can" can change to "will" if we surrender our wills to His, you see?

As I trust in the One who has called me to Cambodia, I know He is faithful, and He will do the work. (1 Thess. 5:24) That's the prayer of my heart until I go.

What do you need to admit to the Lord today on the topic of "Confidence"? Take some time to pause, ponder & pray to the One who knows you fully anyway. He longs to complete in you the good work He's already started if you're willing.

Lord, fill my life with Your perfect confidence. It's not by my might or by my power, but by Your Spirit that I can do all You've led me to do, and that is a relief, to be honest. Thank You, Jesus. I praise You. Amen.

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Pondering Connection

2009-10-06T09:09:00.004-05:00

A friend of mine requested that I start doing some blogging about my Cambodia trip (If you don't know about the missions trip I'm taking to Cambodia, you can read about it here.) At first I told her that I prob'ly wouldn't, because this is a site set aside for devotions, not personal experiences. But as I've prayed about it, her idea has not let me go.

There's nothing more devotional

than living one's faith out loud, after all.

So my team leaves in three weeks. I'll list some prayer requests in my next post, but the main thing the Lord has laid on my heart today is "Connection."

On day 1 of the conference, my team will be talking to the kids about being connected to God. Our puppet Eli will show up with his heart full of love for things in this world...the stuff that's taken the place of love for God. We'll have to work all of that out throughout our morning, hopefully bringing the kids to a place of understanding in their own hearts through teaching, worship, crafts & games.

You see, I get the distinct privilege of being able to minister to kids in the faith (most of them anyway). These are kids whose parents have set aside their lives to minister to Cambodian families as World Relief Staff members, and this conference is their time to rest, rejuvenate & revive themselves personally in their faith walks. As you can imagine, their sons and daughters are hungry for the Word of God and for deeper teaching and worship. While the kids I've ministered to for years have had cool puppets and stages and dynamic music as the norm each Sunday, these children have seen very little of it. So we're asking the Lord to help us take a small piece of it to them.

Ain't it cool? I'm so pumped.

But before I can talk to anyone about being "connected," loving God first and others second, I must first examine myself--my own connectivity. I don't want to teach others a message that isn't being fleshed out in and through me.

~ Do I love Him more than anything? With my whole being--heart, soul, mind & strength?
~ Do I believe the fact that He loves me outrageously? And do I live in the light of that love?
~ Do I hoard His love or share it extravagantly with others? Even those who aren't easy to love?
~ Do I embrace Him as my Father, no other lovies in my arms, surrendered, abandoned?
~ Do I allow His Word to be my guide for daily living and my source for Truth?
~ Am I fully abiding, tightly clinging to the Vine, bearing only good fruit as a result?

Much to think on...much to pray for...by His grace and through the power of His Holy Spirit, He can prepare my heart in exactly the way it needs.

It's your turn...

Paused to ponder your connection with Him lately?

Please allow the verses He has given our team to minister to you in whatever way is needed.

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when He appears, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. Everyone who has this hope in Him purifies Himself, just as He is pure."
1 John 3:1-3

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, Love your neighbor as yourself."
Luke 10:27

"You are the children that God dearly loves. So be just like Him. Lead a life of love, just as Christ did. He loved us. He gave Himself up for us. He was a sweet-smelling offering and sacrifice to God."
Ephesians 5:1-2 (NIRV)

Lord, we long for our hearts to be full of You. By Your grace, through Your Holy Spirit living and moving in and through us, be our source for this life...our one and only connection to deep love and a full life. And Father, as our team longs to minister to the World Relief Staff families, we realize that it is all about You--You are the only One who can give their hearts the rest they might need. We trust, and we will obey. Lord Jesus, have Your way. In Your name, Amen.

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I'm Safe

2009-10-01T09:04:00.010-05:00

"Whatever the particular call is, the particular sacrifice God asks you
to make, the particular cross He wishes you to embrace, whatever the
particular path He wants you to tread, will you rise up, and say in your
heart, 'Yes, Lord, I accept it; I submit, I yield, I pledge myself to
walk in that path, and to follow that Voice, and to trust Thee with the
consequences'? Oh! but you say, 'I don't know what He will want next.'
No, we none of us know that, but we know we shall be safe in His hands."

~Catherine Booth

A quote received in my inbox this morning. A sorely needed word.

I'm reminded of all "the particular calls" God has given me in my life, and almost every one of them has left me scratching my head at the time. I seem to pull a Gideon more often than not: "What? Me? I think you have the wrong person, God. She's more talented. Such-n-So is more qualified. I'm a mess, a big bag of emotional crazy. You know me...c'mon, now!"

The Holy Spirit then speaks into my heart, mind and soul, reminding me who I am in Christ, and that none of it's about me anyway. I've become quicker to answer His calls as I've grown in my faith walk, but it is still a challenge, depending on how out of my comfort zone the request seems to be.

Then there's the whole "cross to embrace" and "path to tread" thing. Most Christ-followers would agree this is a bit more difficult to live out authentically, because it involves pain & sacrifice & surrender & longing for relief.

The path can be so lonely. During the rocky part of the trail, we listen to others around us talking about being on top of the mountain and rejoicing, about serving the Lord--how He'll make our paths straight--and even though we've spoken those same words before, in those moments, it seems as though they're speaking a foreign language or even "Wah-wahing" like the grown-ups in Charlie Brown.

That doesn't mean their words aren't true...it simply means that we aren't experiencing them at that moment. Sometimes it seems like it's been a whole other life since we've done so. In our deepest heart of hearts, we long to "count it all joy" and "rejoice in suffering," but we acknowledge that we're not there yet and God still has more work to do in and through us.

I mean no disrespect, but does anyone know what I'm talking about here?

So what's the answer?

In times of doubt, discouragement, depression, wondering, wandering, wrestling, restlessness, suffering, persecution and temptation--big, medium or small--I believe the answer is the same:

Dependence.

The Bible says we can fully trust Him; thus, we can fully depend on Him. When we choose to depend on God's sovereignty, we are willingly surrendering our own spirit to be consumed with His.

That's what Jesus did in the midst of His worst moments. "Into Your hands, I commit my Spirit," he groaned. My elaboration..."Into YOUR hands...even if that means more pain. Even if it means humiliation. Even death, Father, I'm committed to Your way."

Jesus was safe in His hands, and so are we. Say this out loud with me:

"I'm safe in His hands."

Then, fully surrendered, completely dependent, let's say this to God:

'Yes, Lord, I accept it; I submit, I yield, I pledge myself to

walk in that path, and to follow that Voice, and to trust Thee with the

consequences."

Yes, Lord, I'm depending on You.

"He alone is my rock and my salvation;
He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God;
He is my mighty rock, my refuge.

Trust in Him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to Him,
for God is our refuge.
~Selah"

Psalm 63:6-8, NIV

***By the way, I receive quotes like this one, something to challenge me every day from "I Lift My Eyes Web Ministries." If you'd like to sign up to have a daily quote too, click HERE.

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Trivial Pursuit

2009-09-25T11:57:00.003-05:00

T he game of life is a trivial pursuit without Jesus at the center of it.
H e will lead you through each twister and turn, His
E xample as your guide. Yes, the

G ame of life is a scrabbled maze without Jesus as your solitairy gaze. It is
A s you focus on Him that your path becomes straight and your
M ind finally unboggles from the aggravation and struggles.
E veryone should know that the game

O f life is a risky operation without Jesus Christ as his
F irm foundation. Otherwise, he’s no clue what trouble he’s gotten himself into.

L isten…the game of life is a sorry one
I ndeed without Jesus in the lead.
F orget your own strategy, it will leave you feeling
E mpty. That would be a tragedy.

So let's give up the trivial pursuit.

********************************************************************************************************************************************

”You're blessed when you stay on course, walking steadily on the road revealed by God.
You're blessed when you follow His directions, doing your best to find Him.
That's right—you don't go off on your own;
you walk straight along the road He set.

How can a young person live a clean life?
By carefully reading the map of Your Word.
I'm single-minded in pursuit of You;
don't let me miss the road signs You've posted.
I've banked Your promises in the vault of my heart
so I won't sin myself bankrupt.
Be blessed, God;
train me in Your ways of wise living.”
Psalm 119, 1-3 & 9-12, The MSG

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My First Official Speaking Engagement...

2009-09-21T10:21:00.007-05:00

I can't remember a time in my life that was dull. God has ALWAYS called me out of my comfort zone in some way, shape or form, and this call to speak for the Mom2mom ladies of Stonebriar Community Church was no exception.

It's crazy how God works. He introduced a Mom named Dana Bailey to me through Facebook & the blogging world who has been extremely faithful with the calling God gave her. Not only does she have ten children and a Godly marriage, but she also leads this dynamic, growing ministry at Stonebriar. She HAD to be listening to the Lord's voice to take a chance on this newbie to speak, and I'm so glad she did. And on a side note, if you're a mom who wants to be involved with raising your kids for God's glory (or anything marriage & family-related), put her blog on your list to read regularly. It's called A Little This, A Little That.You will be blessed. And just so you know, God gives bonuses too, because I have a new friend. We've had a few 3 hour lunches, and we text & pray for one another regularly now. Isn't God amazing?

Back to the main theme. My ministry prayer team prayed for almost a month for me about this event, and many other friends were praying as well, that I would have courage, humility and wisdom to teach on an intro lesson to the Fruit of the Spirit. Margie, one of my prayer team members (and a dear friend), even showed up to pray with me before & during the time I would teach. Another bonus from the Lord.

I cannot speak for the ladies gathering there, but as for me, God did powerful things. He truly was faithful (isn't He always?), and He did in and through me exactly what He said He would. Some years ago, I would've made this experience all about my performance, but because of the transformation He has been busy doing in me, He led me to pray that I wouldn't. And I didn't.

That, my friends, is a miracle.

Also, He gave me proof that if I will ask for Him to get "me" out of the way, He will. And He did.

I love Him.

If God was as busy in the hearts and minds of all the other women in the room as He was in mine on Friday, then a whole lotta lotta transformation was in process. But of course! He's God. That's what He does.

Praise be to my Lord & Savior Jesus Christ, who always keeps His Word. Thank You, Jesus, for reminding me that each and every time You call me to ANY task, You are faithful, and You will do it. All honor and glory to You, and You alone.

****************

Has God called YOU to something that you need to depend on Him to do for you?
What has the Lord been faithful to do for you in the past that you couldn't have possibly done on your own?
What holds you back from trusting Him completely with the tasks He's given you?

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A Patch from My Past

2009-09-15T01:00:00.001-05:00

Last week, I shared part of my mother's miraculous story with you. The Lord has been prompting me for almost a year to write my part of the story, or at least a brief version of it.

I've chosen to post it first at the Internet Cafe. I hope you'll join me there today, and see what lies behind these glasses:

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Remember Glory...Again

2009-09-11T02:25:00.002-05:00

Her name was Gloria, and she was like no other. As a youth, she was a red-haired, freckled firecracker, those who knew her would say—gorgeous, a total knockout and full of life. Not long after marriage and having her first baby, her whole life was turned tragically upside down because of a missed stoplight. As she drove to pick up some milk from the store, a semi-truck flattened her car, and it is said, that since she wasn’t wearing her seatbelt, she flew into the backseat as a result of the impact. She sustained terrible head and upper body injuries, and her legs were pinned under the driver’s seat. She was pronounced dead at the scene. Unbelievably so, she was revived and rushed to a nearby emergency room in the St. Louis area. After seeing the damage to her brain and internal organs, many predictions were made of her situation---she would not make it through the trauma, and if she did, she would be in a vegetative state, or at the very least severely handicapped with very little use of her legs or arms. So much for predictions.

After being in a coma for three months and in the ICU for months after that--with excruciating determination, intense physical therapy and tremendous prayer and support from family and friends—she re-learned how to crawl and talk, cope and walk. After a few years, she even had a second child—“A Miracle Baby,” the newspaper would call her.

If the story ended there for Gloria, one could read it with a cheerful and inspirational feeling in the heart, but it did not---not by far. Every day was a struggle for her. She fought to the very core of her being to do the things that most of us take for granted. Her voice box had extensive damage, which gave her a low, loud raspy voice that sometimes scared little children and made strangers stare her way. One of her arms was permanently bent, as well as her spine. This crippled her as she walked, and the damage to her legs would make her unsteady on her feet for the rest of her life. She had brain damage, which affected her mental state and her emotional maturity.

Her husband struggled to know and love her in this new way, and alcohol became the crutch that he used for his own handicaps. Drinking exaggerated the demons that already existed inside of him, and he began to abuse Gloria physically and emotionally, as if she wasn’t damaged enough already. After years of living in this oppression, along with some new realizations of the same abuses toward her daughters, she filed for divorce. Now the financial support was gone, too, and she would have to learn to function as a single mother.

As Gloria tried to raise two young children on disability and public aid, her mom, her sisters and her local church helped her to do what was physically needed to get her daughters through school and life in as normal fashion as possible. Even with the extra support, she was plagued with severe headaches, physical pain and emotional insecurity each and every day. She coped as best she could, though, and the same tenaciousness and ornery spirit from her youth remained alive in her to keep her going in spite of it all.

Hating to ask for help or charity motivated her to be as independent and “normal” as possible. She would drive her kids to school and extra curricular activities most days (yes, she passed her driving test) and made pot roasts and sheet cakes for her kids and others when they came for a visit. Many times, she would exercise on a stationery bike just to keep in shape and to keep her muscles as strong as possible.

In the small town that she lived, many people enjoyed her sense of humor and her dramatic perspective on life. What made her so interesting was that she lived in the middle of being an adult and being a kid. She could communicate like a grown-up (learned behavior), but she thought and looked at situations more like a nine- or ten-year old would. While this made her fascinating to some, it made her life that much more of a challenge personally. After her car wreck, she lost the ability to cry. She could sob emotionally, but she could not produce actual tears. Imagine being a ten-year-old female, or any aged female for that matter, and not being able to cry. Her mental stability didn’t have a chance!

She spent the rest of her adult years being in and out of the hospital with various illnesses, surviving a series of car accidents, weaving in and out of delusional and paranoid behavior and coping with an empty house when her daughters went off to college. Numerous medications were part of her daily swallowing regimen, each one fixing a different symptom or problem diagnosed by one of her several doctors. Her choice was to live alone and “take care of herself,” and the consequences were incredible loneliness and fear wrapped up with the satisfaction of making it on her own.

Her sister Carolyn, her Pastor Steve, and her other sisters and church friends helped make her strong preferences a reality by sacrificially taking care of her needs, while allowing her to maintain her dignity as much as possible. Though her daughters tried to persuade her to live with either of them, she felt comfortable with her life the way it was—no one ever totally understood this about her, but most suspected it was that same strong will and determination that got her through her hardships combined with the security from living life in the routine she had always known.

On September 11th, 2006, Gloria finally lost her fight to keep living after a month of struggling to recover from a colostomy in the ICU. The list of lessons one could learn from her life is long. It is for me.

~She was my mother, and I was her miracle baby.~

I know the story between the lines of circumstances, and that is what I hold on to in the pockets of my memory. As a child, I saw her as abnormal and somewhat embarrassing. As a young adult, I saw her as an obligation and a nuisance sometimes. Now as her daughter looking back on her life after it is gone----well, I have a whole other perspective.

Somehow the memories of her crinkled up forehead while whining about her pain and discomfort are replaced with the memory of seeing her on her knees praying by her bed at night. The distasteful impression in my senses of her smoking cigarette after cigarette is butted out by the incredible admiration I have for her deciding to quit one day and never smoking again. The recollection of all the embarrassing comments she made along with the neediness that would drain me dry at times are secondary to the example of her sitting at the table reading the wrinkled, coffee-stained pages of her Bible. When I’m tempted to focus on the picture of her fits of paranoia, the Lord is faithful to remind me of the verses of Scripture she quoted during the last days of her life in the ICU. These are just some of the contrasts that have helped me to alter my thoughts and behaviors when my own life story is not so picturesque, and I am changed for the better because of it.

I’ve often wished I could ask God face to face why He allowed my mom to suffer so long, so hard and so deeply, but I know that my futile mind wouldn’t understand even if He told me. I’m thankful for this nugget from 1st Corinthians 1: 27-29 to remind me of what made her life valuable to all who knew her:

“But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise.

He chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.

God chose the things of this world that are common and looked down on.

He chose what is not considered to be important to do away with

what is considered to be important. So no one can brag to God.”

Here are some of the important lessons I learned from reflecting from 36 years of life with her:

I learned that each day is a gift, and I should not take it for granted.
I learned that a childlike sense of humor is useful as a grown-up.
I learned that laughter truly is good medicine.
I learned that I shouldn’t EVER judge a book by its cover.
I learned that opening & reading my Bible is as necessary as breathing in and out.
I learned that true strength comes from God, and it is magnified when I’m weak.
I learned that having a close friendship with my sister is a priceless treasure.
I learned that I am blessed to have a Godly husband who leads and provides for his family.
I learned that the church and the people in it are the hands and feet of Jesus.
I learned that the “wrecks” in life are inevitable, & I should not give up when they come.
I learned that my aches and pains are never as bad as they could be.
I learned that good discussions can happen over a good cup of coffee.
I learned that the best way to tell others about Jesus is just to do it.
I learned that I can overcome my strongholds if I fight them with Christ’s strength.

Some people say that everything they ever needed to know in life they learned in Kindergarten; however, I know a good number of people who would say that everything important they ever needed to know in life, they learned from the life of Gloria,
My mom—God-strong—
now dancing before the Lord in Glory with her new legs on…Amen.

Mom (far right) had lots of support from her family after her wreck. Her mom (not pictured) and five sisters (two pictured here, Carolyn & Kathy) who spent a great deal of their time helping Mom in various ways. My big sister and I are the two toeheads front row left.

Despite how rough things could be, mom, sis and I would have fun now and then and put on a good show for the rest of the family. Mom had a VERY hilarious side to her and could make even the most stiff person laugh.

My mother never looked more beautiful than she did on my wedding day, and my sister and I chose to bury her in this dress in remembrance.

Mom was so happy when I came home to IL for my 5-year class reunion. Her greatest deterioration in health began after my sister and I left home.

I can't remember what year this was taken, but she had begun to fall a lot more consistently, and the fall here had led her to a wheelchair for a time. And boy, did she HATE it! We had her in Texas and took her to a rodeo and state fair with us, and it was a VERY bumpy ride for her. (She liked the fresh-squeezed lemonade and the funnel cakes, I remember well, however.)

This picture was taken in May of 2002. It is obvious how much she enjoyed my kids...at least when she felt well.

I'll never forget my mom's first visit to see me AFTER she had quit smoking cold turkey. I used to only have visions of her on my patio smoking. After that, she liked to sit out on the patio and watch the kids play in the backyard. I'm so glad I have a picture to remind me of her victory in quitting smoking.

And once again, I'm so very thankful for this picture my sister and I took with mom. It was our last trip together to see her in Illinois before our next visit there to her in the hospital. I can attest to the fact that sis and I are so glad we have that memory with her, and in our childhood home as well.

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Big Fat Honkin' Truck on a One Lane Road

2009-09-08T17:18:00.013-05:00

Right in the middle of busy Suburbia is a one-lane road (each way) that helps people get from East to West more quickly than the typical stoplight-filled streets. It will usually cut my driving time by almost half, so it has become my choice route when I need to go that way. There’s a drawback, though. Many new homes and businesses are being built along this soon-not-to-be-country road, so that means lots of big, SLLOOOOOOW construction trucks. If I get stuck behind one of these, not only have I lost my “saved” time, but I actually go into debt! Not to mention, my patience flies right out the window with the time, which is where the title of this devotional came from, adjectives barely eeking through the gritted teeth of my firm-frowned mouth.

Phew! Deep breath.

It’s also true that we as Christians are on a narrow road in this life, and It is quite the adventure a good majority of the time--bends, bumps and all. Every now and then, though, a spiritual “big, fat honkin’ truck” gets in front of us, slowing us WAY down and obstructing the view along the way (not to mention our patience sometimes ☺).

Let’s take a moment lately to think about the things that slow us down on our faith journey? What sins have us on a detour? Has suffering pulled us off to the side? Do questions or doubts have us veering to the right and then the left, trying to find the right way? Has wordly pleasure taken us “downtown”?

If the answer is “yes” to any of these questions, then let’s allow the Word of God to be a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path through the power of the Holy Spirit:

“Whether you turn to the right or the left,

your ears will hear a voice behind you saying,

'This is the way; walk in it.’”

Isaiah 30:21

He will show us the way as we are listening to Him...

“Thomas said to Him, ‘Lord, we don’t know where You are going,

so how can we know the way?’

Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life.

No one comes to the Father except through me.’”

John 14:5-6

He will be our way as we trust in Him...

“For He will command His angels concerning you

to guard you in all your ways;”

Psalm 91:11

He will protect us along the way as we follow Him...

“Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles,

and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith,

who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame,

and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men,

so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

Hebrews 12:1-3

He will help us run with perseverance as we fix our eyes on Him...

“This is what the Lord says:

‘Stand at the crossroads and look;

ask for the ancient paths,

Ask where the good way is, and walk in it,

and you will find rest for your souls.’”

Jeremiah 6:16a

He will give us rest along the way as we ask direction from Him...

“Teach me Your way, O LORD, and I will walk in Your truth;

Give me an undivided heart, that I may fear Your name.

Psalm 86:11

He will teach us along the way as we are fully devoted to Him...

No matter what gets in front of us, friends, with patience, we can endure and enjoy this life! SO~~

May God give you more and more grace and peace as you grow in your knowledge of God and Jesus our Lord. By His divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a Godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know Him, the One who called us to Himself by means of His marvelous glory and excellence. And because of His glory and excellence, He has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share His divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.

2nd Peter 1:2-4

Amen.

Please come back to visit on Friday, September 11th.
I'll have a very special tribute posted that day...

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Freedom In A Cup

2009-09-01T17:33:00.007-05:00

My kids loved the movie Open Season. One of their favorite lines from the movie is when Elliot drinks some coffee that he found in the dumpster and says, “(sip) ew. (sip) Ew. (sip) EW! (flying off the handle with the jolt of caffeine) It’s terrible and wonderful at the same time! It’s freedom in a cup!!!”

Now, being the coffee connoisseur I am, that line has stuck with me. It also could be that all three of my kids have taken turns quoting this line in character, oh, let’s say a hundred times or so, but whatever the case, it’s an interesting line….

Although with no comedic tone, I say something similar in my mind almost every time I read the following verse in each of the gospel accounts:

“He went away a second time and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is not

possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it,

may Your will be done.’”

Matthew 26:42

Ew. Talk about being terrible and wonderful at the same time.

Terrible for Jesus, wonderful for us.

Terrible that He knew how painful it would be to die on the cross.

Wonderful that He did the will of the Father anyway.

The cup of obedience to death meant freedom to live for us.

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”

John 8:36

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.

Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened

again by a yoke of slavery.”

Galatians 5:1

What should we do with this freedom then? LIVE like we’ve been freed, that’s what! Before we were slaves to sin, now we’re not if we are saved ones. It says so in 1 Corinthians 10:13: “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”

See? Even when we’re tempted by sin, we’ve been given the power and the freedom to escape it. Can I hear an Amen? Raise the roof!

What cup has He given you to drink right now?

Are you willing to submit your will to His will?

Can you find the wonderful in the midst of the "ews" of your circumstances?

Remember His cup and ponder your own each time you sip your terrible but wonderful at the same time java (or tea) each morning. It’s so easy to keep the knowledge of our Savior’s sacrifice tucked away in the corner of our minds, but if we reflect on it day after day, it will surely soak in and change us from the inside out as a result. As we receive pleasure according to His will, let's thank Him. As we endure pain according to His will, let's follow Christ’s example.

Let’s live, breathe and obey in freedom as FREED ones, friends. It’s the only thing better than a coffee buzz.

“For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead,
He cannot die again;
death no longer has mastery over Him.
The death He died, He died to sin once for all;
but the life He lives, He lives to God.
In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin
but alive to God in Christ Jesus.”
Romans 6:9-11

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Me, Myself & Doubt

2009-08-29T17:46:00.005-05:00

“When they saw Him, they worshiped Him; but some doubted.” Matthew 28:17 (NIV)

Is it possible to believe and doubt at the same time? NO. I mean, YES!!! Absolutely not! It is, too!

If two people were having this conversation, it would be tense enough, but if this were a conversation between me, myself and I--well, that’s just scary. Yet, how often do I find myself in this exact predicament? I put my eyes on Him, He shows Himself to me, and at the same time I'm wondering if that was actually Him or not.

The above verse from Matthew occurs after Jesus’ ministry on earth, after He has died, after He has been risen from the dead, and after others said He'd appeared to them and was still alive.

The “they” in the verse refers to the eleven that had been with Him the whole time. Now, if it’s possible for almost a dozen men to see everything in person that Jesus had done and still have some doubts afterwards, then how much more true is that for you and me as His disciples today?

This is no surprise to God. He knows us intimately enough to understand that we are going to doubt Him from time to time. How faithful He was, though, to give us His Word as a reminder that He is God, He is faithful and He listens to our prayers. This is where our faith in Him kicks in---it is even modeled for us in Scripture.

In Mark 9:14 (NIV) and following, a father comes to Jesus and wants Him to heal his son who has an evil spirit. The dad says, “…IF you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”

Jesus corrects him, “If I can? Everything is possible for him who believes.”

The father’s response back is what I can relate to… “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” The passage says that the dad exclaimed this! Exclamation point!!!!

Notice in this last emphatic statement that, even though it is an oxymoron technically, it is also NOT an oxymoron. “I do believe,” the dad exclaims.

This shows his limited belief, the kind we can do on our own. Then he says, “help me overcome my unbelief.” This puts the emphasis back on God to do the work in us.

We can muster up all the belief in our hearts, souls and minds, but without God’s help to do so, it will never be enough. This desperate dad gets it! God wants us to get it too. I suspect that’s why He put it in Scripture.

At the end of Luke 24, it goes into the same story that Matthew was telling about the disciples, only it adds more of the details. As they were walking along discussing their doubts about whether Jesus had been resurrected or not, Jesus appears to them and asks them why they are doubting.

See, even though He knew their doubts, He didn’t want them to stay there.

So He patiently pursued this process with them, even showing His scarred hands and feet in order to “prove” that He was alive. The next verse is the key: After all of this conversation, in verse 45 it says, “Then He opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures.” Jesus gave them instructions and His blessing after that, then was taken up to Heaven.

This was their life changing moment. After He opened their minds, they understood. Once again, it was His power, not their ability to believe on their own. It says at the end of the verse that “then they worshipped Him and returned to Jerusalem with great joy. And they stayed continually at the temple, praising God.”

How cool is that! Before Jesus opened their minds, they half-worshiped, half-doubted. After He opened their minds, they had great joy and continually praised Him. We can enjoy the latter, if...

...If we'll stop trying to believe on our own with what little we have and begin to depend on what plenty He has.

...if we'll open our minds so that we can experience Him to the full.

...if we'll study His character and remember His faithfulness.

...if we'll learn to hear His voice and tune out the doubting.

He will help us overcome our unbelief. And there's no doubt about that. Exclamation Point! Do you believe it?

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Where's The Backdrop?

2009-08-25T11:42:00.007-05:00

Imagine spending twenty dollars on a ticket to see a play. You get there, excited to see what entertainment is in store for you. The curtain opens, the opening lines begin, but you soon realize that there’s no backdrop, no set, and the actors and actresses are in street clothes...no costumes…it’s just a story, a raw script. If the acting is phenomenal, you might get what you paid for, but it’s really difficult to enjoy and understand without the proper setting. Oftentimes the backdrop and costumes help explain the story, the characters, etc. It would lengthen a play significantly if the actors had to explain everything to the audience without these tools.

In some ways, the same can be true of God’s Word, though it will NEVER return to us empty or void. This great treasure is given to us. We open it and read a wonderful verse, maybe a common one that gives us reassurance or peace. Or maybe we've been encouraged to look up a particular verse. We read it and are given insight, but often we miss the full blessing and effect of it because we don’t understand the setting or the characters. Let us take a common passage and explore this idea together:

“Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
They will run and not grow weary,
They will walk and not be faint.”
Isaiah 40:28-31

Every time I read this verse, I am humbled, comforted and blessed. However, when I read some of the notes in my study Bible and went back to the beginning of the chapter, I was even more so. By the time I got to this verse, I was truly enlighted and invigorated. The cool thing is that it didn't even matter that I don't have a theology degree. If I were to listen to a Bible teacher instruct on this verse, I’m sure I would learn a ton; however, I’m talking about reading the Bible through my brain, and I’m an every day person with limited education on the background of His Word. That said, with only a few extra minutes, this is what God taught me about this very special passage in Isaiah.

In the notes of my Study Bible it explains the historical context of the chapters that precede this one. I’m not going to go into that, because one fact would lead to another, but the gist of it is that God has allowed “His people” to go through much hardship…war, battles, death, illness…in chapter 40, he allowed Isaiah to provide comfort to them by reminding them of these three things: 1. Who we are, 2. Who God is, & 3. What God gives to those He loves.

Verse 6 of chapter 20 says that “All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field.” What a beautiful setting to this story!

It goes on, (vs 7 & 8) “The grass withers and the flowers fall, because the breath of the Lord blows on them. Surely the people are grass. The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the Word of our God stands forever.” Now we know who we are in light of who God is---the ornamental kind, but grass nonetheless. I can picture Him reaching down His hand gently, picking me up in all my “grassiness,” and whisping me where He wants me to go next.

Then it continues to give us a picture of who God is: (vs.13 & 14) "Who has understood the mind of the Lord, or instructed Him as counselor? Whom did the Lord consult to enlighten Him, and who taught Him the right way? (vs.18) To whom, then, will you compare God? (vs. 25 & 26) To whom will you compare Me? Or who is My equal? says the Holy One. Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? (It is) He who brings out the starry host, one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of His great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing.”

Isn’t this an amazing backdrop for us to see? Throughout all of Scripture, since it is said to be “God-breathed,” He is that backdrop indeed!

This picture of who we are in light of who God is sets us up for the popular passage in verses 28 through 31. Just as we begin to get a grasp on the story, the grand finale of this marvelous play full of beautiful scenery, imagery and interesting characters is revealed to us. We get to see what God, this incredible, One and Only Deity, gives to those He loves, even though we are likened to the grass that withers and fades. Only God would love and comfort us in our smallness, you know?

Doesn’t all that background give a fresh and fuller meaning to the familiar verses we started with?
HE is the everlasting God.
HE is the Creator of the ends of the earth.
HE never tires, never runs out of energy.
No one can fathom what HE understands.
Only HE can give strength to the weary and power to the weak.
When we hope in HIM, the One who never stumbles, we will have renewed strength.
HE will make us part of the scenery as we soar on wings as eagles.
HE will make us part of His drama as we draw on His energy, walking without becoming faint.
Now that’s a play I’d like to pay my twenty dollars to see acted out on stage. I challenge you when you hear a beautiful verse or feel conviction about a passage of Scripture to dive in and research the background, the context, the history, the setting. Let God help you grasp the fullness of His Word through the power of His Spirit which searches even the mind the God.

Let's ask Him to open our eyes, sharpen our minds and help us to hear all that He would have for us to know. He will reveal to us what insight we can handle at the time, because He knows what we need more than we even know ourselves. I pray that each time we read His Word we can visualize Him as the magnificent Backdrop of every story and teaching, the Breath behind the characters, and the One worthy of all the applause and glory.

Open the curtains now, Lord. We’re ready to get a glimpse of You.

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What Comes DOWN Down down, must go up Up UP!

2009-08-22T10:42:00.004-05:00

Romans 11:36 (NLT)
For everything comes from Him and exists by His power
and is intended for His glory. All glory to Him forever! Amen.

As I read this passage, it jumpstarted my heart. He read it to me piece by piece, and it was powerful.

For ___________ comes from Him—

Fill in the blank. For (blank) comes from Him.

Think of a gift, a talent, a provision, a privilege or a blessing. Put it in the blank.

and exists by His power…

Whatever you put in the blank—not only does it come from Him, it exists by His power. That means that it is still there because of His power to give, sustain and take away. Whatever you have been given and still have is nothing short of His choice for you to have it.

and is intended for His glory…

This thing, do I really use it for His glory? Am I proud of the gift itself or am I proudly proclaiming the Gift-Giver? The word intended kind of caught me off guard. He, the Maker, the Giver, and the powerful Sustainer didn’t intend for us to use our fill-in-the-blank for our own egos…but for His glory. Period.

All glory to him forever!

All that we have, all that we are, all our hopes and dreams…they are to be for His glory. The forever part makes this so.

Want a promotion in your job? Only if it is for My glory, Child.

Are you using a special talent for Him? Please care more about My fame and renown than your own, Dear One.

Have you been given wisdom and faith? Let your motive be to draw others closer to me.

May the very life we have been given be used for His glory. This is something we must ask from Him, because it will not come naturally for us. It very well may be a trait that is grown little by little in us as we submit to Him each day. Let’s pray to earnestly desire for Him to be our glory forever and ever…

Lord God, I am blown away by the power of Your Word. So impacting. The same Word that has been there from the beginning of time—in its power—in its perfect timing—has convicted me once again. May it do the same in my brothers and sisters as You choose, and may we constantly remind each other of all the glorious things You have done in our lives. I pray from the bottom of my heart that You would help me to learn how to use all my stuff for Your purposes…that I would come to You with empty hands, an undistracted mind and an open heart. Lord, for all of us, when we see each others’ gifts and talents and blessings, may we see only You—and You alone. And then give You the glory. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

“For in HIM we live and move and have our being.”
Acts 17:28a

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In Vogue

2009-08-19T09:02:00.004-05:00

In my quiet time this morning, God caused me to pause and ponder this:

"So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it." (Colossians 3:12, The Message)

It's amazing to me that the Lord gave me the Holy Spirit, and I can wear Him every day. I don't want to wear my flesh while His beautiful garments lay on the shelf of my heart. As I trust, surrender and obey, the Lord's compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline & love will radiate. And His colors definitely look the best on me. :)

Lord, I praise You and thank You for giving me the Holy Spirit. It gives me hope & encouragement to know I don't need to go it alone...help me to be in vogue with You. Have Your way in me today, I pray.

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A Personal Call for Prayer & Support

2009-08-17T04:00:00.002-05:00

Dear Friends,

It’s not everyday that an opportunity such as this one comes along, but in faith, I’m answering God’s call to go to Asia. In fact, our team of 13 men and women are traveling to Cambodia from October 28th-November 7th to lead a conference for the leadership team and the families of World Relief.

Now in its 14th year in Cambodia, World Relief is committed to working alongside the Church of Cambodia in building its capacity to serve the poor in the name of Jesus Christ so that the healing and transforming power of the Kingdom of God is manifested in all its fullness in Cambodia.

The goal of our team is to provide spiritual refreshment and encouragement for these leaders, and in doing so, I know God will do a powerful work in our lives as well.

While I've always been passionate about missions in the past, this is my first time to actually experience it in the "going" role. I'll be leading the children, ages 4 to 12, in teaching, worship and activities, along with some of my other team members. After being a kids’ praise and worship leader for almost 20 years in my own country, I am leaning on the Lord to translate that passion and knowledge to kids who love the same God in a different language and culture. If you have any suggestions for me, I would love your input!

The events that led up to my going on this trip are a blog post in and of themselves, if not more than one. Empty hands held high, I'm trusting what God has for me, though I confess to being wayyyy out of my comfort zone. Stretch time.

If the Lord leads you, I would love to have prayer support and/or financial support for our trip. Asking for prayer is easy for me. Asking for money is not. But we’ve been encouraged as a team to give others an opportunity to be a part of our missions journey. By doing so, we expand the missions experience to a wider array of people. It is up to the Lord to prompt others to pray or give as He chooses, and I know He'll provide in His creative way and time.

Each of us has been asked to raise $2800, which covers all meals, accommodations and airfare (our biggest expense.) All donations are tax deductible, and you will receive a receipt that you can use for tax purposes. All support raised is considered team support, so any funds I raise over and above what I need will be put into our team fund to cover costs for the entire team.

Whether or not you feel led by God to support financially, I hope you will pray for our team. We long to be unified, effective, surrendered and flexible as we work together, and we ask for protection and provision for the families we leave behind while pursuing this call.

For His Glory,

If you feel led to give, checks should be made payable by October 1st to Bent Tree Bible Fellowship with “Cambodia 2/L. Shaw” in the memo line and sent to the following address:

Bent Tree Bible Fellowship
Attn: Outreach Ministry
4141 International Parkway
Carrollton, TX 75007

"But I'll take the hand of those who don't know the way,
who can't see where they're going.
I'll be a personal guide to them,
directing them through unknown country.
I'll be right there to show them what roads to take,
make sure they don't fall into the ditch.
These are the things I'll be doing for them— sticking with them,
not leaving them for a minute."
Isaiah 42:16, The MSG

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Deactivate the Hyperdrive

2009-08-15T10:35:00.003-05:00

I'd love for you to join me at Internet Cafe Devotions today. But I'll warn you, I'm a little bit hyperactive...

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Anticipation Proclamation

2009-08-12T09:06:00.010-05:00

As a young girl, I remember the start of a new school year being so exciting! The first day of school for me was as New Years was to the grownups I knew. It was a time for vows and resolutions: THIS would be the year to make perfect grades. THIS would be the time for me to make new friends. Yes, THIS would be the defining year of my talents as well as my personality. I would even be a better Christian witness, and EVERYTHING would be more exciting than the year before….

The cherry on top was the blessing of new clothes (or even someone else's handmedowns), cool school supplies and all the other “stuff” that was required for a student to get a good start to the new year. Cha ching! Christmas in August!!!!

On the other side of the beaming and scheming, though, was Anxiety, just waiting to rear her ugly head. What will I wear? Which teachers will I have? Who will I sit next to? WHERE did these pimples come from? Before the first bell had even rung, Anticipation, Aspiration and Anxiety had become inseparable friends of mine.

Nonetheless, now that those days are over, I wouldn’t mind having that feeling of great expectation again. Sometimes I get so distracted in the dailyness of life, even anxious about what's around the corner, that I miss the renewal and hope the Lord is offering me each day. The Bible is filled with promises to anticipate:

Lamentations 3:22-23
“Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

2 Corinthians 4:16
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away,
yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.”

Psalm 51:10
“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

Colossians 3:10
“…and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.”

So what does this mean for us? It means that we can be like school kids at the end of summer each and every day, but without the worry. No matter what fruit we are lacking, the Lord will be faithful to provide it as we put our hope in Him. It is a daily (for me, hourly sometimes) process….it is a “giving over” of ourselves with the exchange of renewed eagerness for the great things God can do in and through us as we let Him. We can choose to serve ourselves, our anxieties and our desires; or we can start the day with dependence on our Lord, who will faithfully show up and keep His promises. Let’s decide to proclaim our anticipation in Him alone this very day!

“But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you,
then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve….
But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”
Joshua 24:15

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Kindred Spirit Encouragement

2009-08-10T20:37:00.005-05:00

I'm always amazed how the Lord brings about encouragement at the perfect time. Filled with the blues of getting ready for school to start on top of coming down from the mountain of my She Speaks high, the Lord put a beautiful greeting card in my mailbox from a very special sister in the Lord.

Have you met Darlene from Kindred Spirits Greetings? She's a humble lady and probably will be embarrassed that I mentioned her in this public way, but she blessed me so much!

Here's how. She sent me this custom made card just to encourage me in the ministry God has given me. I had no idea how beautiful her cards were, WOW. And because God has gifted her with the ability to write content as well, she wrote me a special message:

"LauraLee...a heart filled with desire for true intimacy with her beloved.
A woman of compassion sharing the love of our Creator~
by reaching around the globe to strangers along the way.
A bridge of love built by one.
Kindred of the Most High, through the blood of our Savior.
One mind, one people, one nation.
Set apart from our once unrighteous state of being.

By touching His throne from the depth of our hearts~
the beauty within each of our individual relationships with Him unfolds.
As our passion to know Him grows we begin to understand
how each trial, each heartache and each loss
lovingly reconstructs our thinking, our desires, our will, into His dna
heirs to HIs throne indeed; through the Blood of our Salvation.
You touched my heart, LauraLee."
(c) Copyright 2009 Kindred Spirits Greetings
by Letha Darlene

I had to share this powerful act of encouragement and sisterly love by a kindred spirit in Christ. May we all remember when the Lord prompts us to bless another with our gifts and talents to do so, like Letha Darlene. And if you want to see the incredible variety of creativity she has with her greeting cards, visit her website, Kindred Spirits Greetings.

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She Hides at She Speaks

2009-08-06T08:31:00.012-05:00

I walked into the She Speaks conference with an overwhelming sense of peace. I read that many were concerned about their wardrobe and their speeches and book proposals, and though I had my days of anxiousness, by the time I walked in I was completely relaxed. Each person I met enthralled me with their experiences leading up to the conference. God was calling me to be "others-focused," and it was a whole lotta wonderful. Except for the normal bit of nervousness that came Friday night just before 3-minute speech time, the Lord's peace prevailed.

Until Saturday afternoon.

The session after lunch came, and a funk came over me right in the middle. I felt dizzy, sick to my stomach, exhausted, numb. It was as if I had been sitting in the middle of a beach somewhere basking in the sun, and out of nowhere a gynormous wave rolled in and knocked me over, leaving me flat on my back.

So I did what any "others-focused" individual would do. I limped to my room and hid. Behind that closed door, I hoped that my roommate wouldn't come in and see me sobbing on my knees by the bed. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. Had I been sandbagging my anxiousness only to have it explode and make a mess now? Was I exhausted from the days of preparation getting ready for the trip? Was it a spiritual attack? What in the world had come over me?

As I moved to the bed and tried to drift off to sleep, my cell phone rang. It was my 11-year-old daughter, and she was in the same shape I was. She missed me. She felt like she was doing everything around the house and others were taking her for granted. She didn't want to tell anyone, especially Dad, because she didn't want to come apart in front of him. I advised her to go into her closet and pray (the only place she has privacy), and to ask the Lord for strength to talk to Dad. I told her, "Sweetie, you'll be amazed how much better you'll feel if you can find the courage to admit to dad how you're feeling." We cried together for a little while longer, and I shared with her how I was feeling too.

While I was ending my conversation with my daughter, my roommate Amy Bayliss walked in. She saw I was a mess, but she didn't pry. I felt led to tell her what I was going through, but I didn't want to bother her with it. After all, she had another publisher's meeting to go to and a whole list of things to be focused on herself. It was a mixture of my care for her and pride that I wanted to continue faking my strength until she left the room again.

Then I remembered my words to AnaLee. You know, about how much better she'd feel if she just admitted she was weak. So I grabbed Amy, and I told her. She immediately prayed as I continued to weep, and I was amazed. A healing wave of peace and relief flooded over me. Not long after Amy left the room, my daughter called again. She said she took my advice and went into the closet to pray and that she was ready to talk to Daddy. I was definitely able to encourage her after what I'd just experienced.

The memory of this mind-boggling moment ministers to me on so many levels. Pride had convinced me that I was to be "on" while at the conference or else I'd be no good to anyone. I let the enemy discourage me and speak lies into my ear. I almost cancelled my publisher's meeting AND my talk on Saturday night. Honestly, the thought went through my mind that maybe I'm just not cut out for any of this stuff. Nobody else was in their room having a meltdown, I thought. LOL, Like I would know...

The power of releasing our pride and our weaknesses to one another can be an amazing thing. Often, we have experiences that are meant for the Lord's ears only, but in this case, He wanted me to admit. I don't know why I felt the need to hide when the unexpected hit me. But I was humbled and encouraged in a way I will never forget. Maybe the next time I won't be so stubborn.

"Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray [also] for one another, that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual tone of mind and heart]. The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working]."
James 5:16, The Amplified Bible
"If one falls down, his friend can help him up."
Ecc. 4:10a

Is God leading you to walk out of your hotel room

and let someone pray for you?

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She Pauses to Ponder Praises from "She Speaks"

2009-08-04T10:35:00.018-05:00

"Our prayer for you this weekend is that you will be encouraged, equipped and empowered as you prepare for God's unique calling on your life..."

This was the purpose the Proverbs 31 ministry team listed in the front of our GORGEOUS She Speaks conference books, and it was fulfilled.

I'm still in the process of pondering, but I must write...it's time to let some praises ring.

This She was encouraged:

* I was encouraged by corporate worship. To sing and pray along with Cheri Keaggy, as well as 600+ women set my heart on fire, and released my tears to water it.

*I was encouraged by a group of women bloggers (a group too large to mention each by name but will probably end up in the form of a story at some point) who all "knew" each other and invited me to join their lunch parties anyway. (photo below) As I listened to them talk, I was so blessed by their heart to minister to women with their own unique voices in the world of blogging. I also learned that I am not a true blogger; instead, I'm a writer who has a blog. Believe you me, this is true. (But I know who to call with questions, no doubt). And I laughed. And laughed. And spewed that sugary sweet North Carolina tea all over. Heather, especially ;) would get me rolling, then Lisa would calm me down (and get me to the airport on time. Thank you.) :)

*I was encouraged by my roommate, Amy Bayliss. We talked, we laughed, we prayed, we got past the surface. She is more amazing than I ever imagined. And besides, she brought me a beautiful journal, the best-smelling candle ever, and CHOCOLATE. Need I say more?

*I was encouraged by the speakers, Lysa TerKeurst, Jennifer Rothschild (my spiritual hero on earth), and Renee Swope. I will be chewing on their messages for an ENORMOUSLY long time, applying them as God enables me to do so. I'm compelled to say that every single time Lysa prayed, I cried. I've been starting my day with "Good morning, my Jesus," and ending it with "Good night, my Jesus" ever since.

*I was encouraged by Suzanne Eller, who happened to get the seat right next to me on the airplane ride home. For me, that was no accident, only a God-incident. She encouraged me with her powerful story, her wisdom in the Lord and in the writing business, and she confirmed some of my thoughts about ministry as well. I am ordering her book, "The Mom I Want To Be" today, and I can't wait to read it through the grid of the authentic and beautiful person I met on the airplane.

*I was encouraged by Zoe Elmore and the rest of my speaker evaluation group. Hopefully, they were mutually encouraged by me. But Zoe made each one of us feel relaxed, and she pumped us up in the process. I can't wait to read her book when it's completed (wink). She is already an AMAZING speaker, and quite stylin' I have to say.

*I was encouraged by catch phrases like "Grace, Grace, Grace," and "in ministry, there should be no competition." Can you imagine what our world would look like if all of us lived with those beliefs out in front of us?

This She was equipped:

*I was equipped with so much incredible information about speaking and writing through the workshops that I know I will be processing it for many months. Micca Campbell was a HUGE highlight of my weekend, and I can't wait to buy her book and soak in the message that she speaks and lives. I also need more of her sense of humor. It is ADDICTING.

*I was equipped with resources galore. I had access to books, music and advice from professionals to help me become better at my calling. I even learned what colors fit my skin type by the "What Not To Wear" expert, Shari Braendel.

*I was equipped spiritually. This team put more emphasis on giving us what we needed spiritually than they did in any other area. They know the secret to any success in life at all starts with a relationship with Jesus Christ. As someone who is passionate about ministry, this impressed me above anything else.

This She was empowered:

*I was empowered with God-confidence. Each and every time I felt inadequate or unable to do what I was supposed to be doing, the Lord used someone or something at the conference to build me up. And I saw this happening ALL OVER THE PLACE.

*I was empowered with God's Word. Truth was everywhere you looked and listened. All that was needed was a soft, surrendered heart for that Truth to sink in and make a difference. It did for me.

*I was empowered by the Holy Spirit. He worked on me, He moved in me, He strengthened me, He humbled me, He showed up. Especially in the prayer room the team set up for us. I spent some time there allowing the Holy Spirit to still and speak to my tired, anxious and hungry heart.

*I was encouraged and empowered to live out my calling. And yes, it is a calling. It doesn't matter to me if I communicate his name to ten or to ten hundred. It doesn't matter to me if that is through writing, speaking, outreach, giving or encouraging. I will live out my calling in Spirit and in Truth with the Lord's power and strength doing the work in and through me. And if I forget this, it's right here "out loud" on my blog for any of you to remind me at a moment when you see me thinking otherwise.

Many thanks, and much love to the Proverbs 31 staff and ministry team, to all my new friends, and especially to my Jesus. I paused. I pondered. And now I praise You, my Lord, my Savior, my Life. Thank You.

Out to lunch with the blogging ladies. Wowzer, if I only had an ounce of the knowledge they do...and they have the gift of gab too, which of course, I know NOTHING about.

My sweet roomie, Amy. She is a woman inspired, and she inspired me in more ways than ten.

Kidnapped to lunch from the conference (shhhhh). I need a boot camp after that burger & pile of fries I consumed.

My speaker evaluation group. I was in awe at the stories these ladies shared. We all went out on a limb to share a piece of ourselves (albeit just 3 & 5 minute pieces...though we tried our hardest to stretch the time), and I was enriched in the process.

Amy and I kept running into Lisa, and it would've been cool to have her as a 3rd roomie. She took the time to pray over me before I walked into my 2nd publisher's meeting. I can't wait to share with her why that ministered to me so much.

"If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ."
1 Peter 4:11

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Runnin' on Empty

2009-07-31T22:08:00.003-05:00

Remember the old Jackson Browne song “Runnin’ On Empty”? It was brought back into my recent memory during the last election campaign of John McCain. As I revisited those lyrics, I realized that this could be the theme song for a good many of our lives.

“Running on – running on empty
Running on – running blind
Running on – running into the sun
But I’m running behind.” *

Even as Christians, we can be “runnin’ on empty” and “runnin’ blind.” Do you realize that? We have the race marked out for us, with Christ’s help to run it unwaveringly, but so often we train our own way and race with our own resources.

As I’ve grown in my faith over the past five years, this is a topic I’ve had to wrestle with and allow the Lord to win. It came to a point where, until I dealt with this issue specifically, I’d have to take a water break from the race God had designed for me.

My poor training started in my childhood. With no one to show me how to cope with the horrible realities I faced, I ran. Between choir and theatre and cheerleading and track and student council and color guard and friends’ houses and church events and softball and running blind into wherever I thought the sun was shining, you can bet I was empty. To fill up, I’d watch my regular television programs, all with families I wished were my own. I’d stuff my face with junk food at the same time, knowing that my taste palette would be satisfied eventually. It never was, but I kept swallowing anyway.

“But you were just a kid and weren’t taught any better,” you might say. “Besides, you coped the best you could.” This is true, but I was long into my adulthood before I realized I was still running the same way I had begun many years before. Only now I had my driver’s license.

“Looking out at the road rushing under my wheels,
I don’t know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels.
I look around for the friends that I used to turn to to pull me through.
Looking into their eyes, I see them running too.” *

All of a sudden, it occurred to me that I wasn’t the only one wearing the tread down on my tires. Surprisingly enough, I was in a great deal of traffic, with people just like me. Probably all for different reasons, but pedals to the metal, just the same.

On the race the Lord has marked out for us, sometimes we have to sprint, and sometimes hurdles are a part of our endurance training. Some seasons are busier than others, and we have no control over it. But I’m not necessarily talking about being too busy. I’m talking about running with the wrong source of energy. About becoming distracted with the audience on the sidelines. About taking shortcuts when the path marked before us gets too rocky. About going just because we’ve always gone.

Featuring Browne’s album, Rolling Stone magazine** wrote, “The title track was actually written when Browne was driving back and forth to the studio each day to make The Pretender. ‘I was always driving around with no gas in the car,’ he said. ‘I just never bothered to fill up the tank because -- how far was it anyway? Just a few blocks.’”

Wow. What a description of my life for so many years. Does this apply to you? Are you running on fumes, thinking that your fill-up is only a few blocks away?

The Lord desires that we run our races with a full tank of Him, my friends. For our own good, and also for the sake of those witnessing the race.

Hebrews 12:1-3 (NIV)
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

No matter if we are on a city road or a country one, a road under construction or one fully paved—God designed us to live with our eyes fixed on Him and our hearts full of Him. Otherwise, we’ll keep “running behind, running on empty—running blind.” With the joy of Heaven set before us, let’s allow the One who ran the race before us to retrain us, perfect us. Let’s keep running on—running on full.”

*Running On Empty—lyrics by Jackson Browne
**Rollingstone.com—Dec. 9th, 2004

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Losing My Marbles

2009-07-29T10:53:00.003-05:00

Several years ago, I was at a women’s retreat where our speaker, JoAnn Hummel, used a visual that really grabbed me. She gave each of us in the room a marble and a small lump of clay and used them to question us about the attitude of our hearts. Would we allow our hearts to be molded by the hand of the Potter, or would we be hardened to His voice like the marble? I remember squeezing the marble in one hand, clay in the other, closing my eyes, fully aware that God was going to use this kinesthetic and visual lesson from Him for years to come.

As I was reading one morning, Hebrews 3:12-15 took a high jump off the page to grab my attention:

“See to it, brothers and sisters (that’s US as believers), that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first.”

Immediately, the marble and clay from years before came to my mind. God led me to a time of reflection…He was asking me to search what areas of my heart have been hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. One of the sneakiest things that I believe Satan does in my life is convince me that my sins aren’t really that sinful. Sometimes I don’t even call sin “sin” anymore. Hardening our hearts and turning away from God are not just the “majors” that come to our minds. “Well, I haven’t had an affair,” or “I don’t get drunk or steal or lie.”

When I really allow God to search my heart, He shows me that I have not only done some of these “majors” within the boundaries of my motives, but I have also turned my back on Him in many other ways as well. Most of us, if we’re honest, could say the same thing. Let me just use realistic parallels from above. (On the soapbox) Each and every time we lust over a “star” on the big screen or think that someone’s spouse is better than ours, we’ve fallen short of His plan for those of us who are married. Every time we run to alcohol or food or whatever for the sake of our sanity or in order to cope, it is beyond the scope of the freedom He’s given us. And can we actually say we don’t ever steal or lie if we think outside the box of what’s culturally acceptable? All of these things came to my mind today, as well as cynicism, self-defeating talk, gossip, impatience, worry, pride and so on. As uncomfortable as it is to speak so bluntly, I feel quite certain that each one of us could fill in our own blanks if we open ourselves up to it.

Let’s not add guilt or condemnation to our list, my friends, but Scripture is here not only to give us a positive boost of energy, but also to correct our behaviors and our motives. The verse above says, “encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today…” We don’t know how long we have on this earth to do what He’s called us to do. If our hearts become hardened as marbles, it is difficult to encourage one another Today, isn’t it? That’s because we’re so bogged down with sin that we aren’t calling “sin,” it cripples our effectiveness to do so.

“Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts.” (Hebrews 4:7)

If you have heard His voice today, as I have through the power of His Word, which is “living and active, sharper than any double-edged sword (vs. 12),” take a moment to consider what He’s asked you to do in these verses. “There is therefore, no condemnation, for those who are in Christ Jesus…(Romans 8:1),” but His desire is to free you from what binds so that He can mold you as clay.

Together, let’s lose our marbles for Him—as long as it is TODAY-- so that we can encourage and share in Christ, holding His confidence firmly till the end.

“Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have One who has been tempted in every way just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:14-16

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Window Shopping

2009-07-27T14:31:00.005-05:00

What kind of shopper are you? Are you a hunter….knowing exactly what you want before you go, setting out for the kill and getting back home before anyone knew you were gone? Or are you a reflective shopper? “Oh, I wonder how this would go with those pants at home….naaa….doesn’t fit quite right at the shoulders.” You go from store to store only to come home empty-handed. Maybe you’re a mix of these two types—the passive-aggressive shopper: You ARE going to come home with something to wear, but you just can’t decide what you want, so off you go….scooping up blouse after pants after dress after belt after shoes. “I can always return what I don’t want later,” you tell yourself while heading to your car with numb fingers and a crick in your shoulder. What kind of shopper are you?

Since the combinations are endless, let’s pretend that we are all window shoppers. We determine that we won’t go inside a store until something really fantastic catches our eye, even if we have to go from window to window, squinting at every last detail….as soon as we see that thing we can’t resist, we’ll go in and check it out! The truth is that we’ll probably choose to go into the store that most clearly displays their items: front, back, price tag showing, etc.

This is a little bit of the picture of living out the gospel of Christ. We’ve all heard the phrase, “I’d rather see a sermon than hear one anyday.” So true, isn’t it? Jesus is the only One who can save the lost, but He draws unbelievers to us to do some “window shopping.” I used to think that, as Christians, we were the item underneath the bright light, and that we needed to be perfectly beautiful all the time, doing and saying all the “right” things. The truth is this: We are not the One on display---Jesus is----and our lives are the reflection of Him.

“We put no stumbling block in anyone’s path, so that our ministry will not be discredited.”
2 Corinthians 6:3 (NIV)

It is clear when we read this verse that the Lord wants us to keep His windows sparkling, so they’ll need to be squeegeed on a regular basis through the cleansing of the Holy Spirit. Why? Not so that Christianity will look pretty and perfect to everyone looking in….but so that it will be pure and unclouded to them. The verses that follow explain how we can present Christ clearly to others (I like the way “The Message” translates it):

“Our work as God’s servants gets validated-or not-in the details. People are watching us as we stay at our post, alertly, unswervingly…in hard times, tough times, bad times…working hard, working late, working without eating; with pure heart, steady hand; in gentleness, holiness and honest love; when we’re telling the truth, and when God’s showing His power; when we’re doing our best setting things right; when we’re praised, and when we’re blamed…ignored by the world, but recognized by God…immersed in tears, yet always filled with deep joy…having nothing, having it all.:” (Read 2 Corinthians 6:3 thru 10 to see the verse in its entirety, as I omitted some for space.)

If we make ourselves the object on display, we will fail miserably. If we make Him Front & Center of all that we do, then others may see Him clearly, which is the goal of any true window shopper, isn’t it? Let’s take the time right now to pore over these verses, asking Jesus to help our lives to reflect Him honorably. Ask Him to show us spots or smudges that we haven’t cleaned up or that have been unnoticed in the corner of our frames. The most awesome truth of all is that when we show off Christ in this way, some will be desperate to have Him too, no matter what kind of shopper they are. And when they walk inside, they will be delighted to possess this priceless Treasure, all the while, throwing their Discover Cards away…

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