Yes, it's been months. Many months. I have put off writing anything in this blog. Some days I think about it, but then I end up doing something else.

How is everyone doing?

Life is just as busy as it was months ago. I have experienced some drama lately from Mommy Dearest.

She is single and desperate right now. So desperate, in fact, that she has begun to tell my stepson how I am not his mom and that a woman can only be considered a child's "mom" if she gave birth to them. And she said women who adopt kids can also be considered a "mom". No one else can be considered a mom.

And it's kind of funny because she has another son who is 12 years old and was raised by her parents. She never told anyone she had a son. She said he was her brother.

Then magically he started living with her about 3 years ago. And he still calls her by her first name and calls her own mother "Mom". And Mommy Dearest doesn't say anything about it. It obviously doesn't fit her definition of a "mom", but who the hell cares?? It fits her definition because she says it does.

Even my stepson mentioned this to us. He doesn't understand why she yells at him for considering me a mom, when his newfound brother calls her by her first name and she doesn't say a word about it. And my stepson still calls her Mom.

And you're probably saying, "What's the issue? You aren't his mom. You're just his STEPmom."

Yes, I am. The issue is that my stepson voluntarily started calling me Mom at about the time I stopped writing on this blog.

My husband and I have never once told him to call me Mom. For the longest time, he called me by my name. Then one day, he started calling me Mom. Almost like he was trying it on for size.

I could tell that he was looking for a reaction from me. I didn't want to make a big deal about it. I also didn't want to tell him not to call me that because I thought it might make him feel bad.

He obviously felt comfortable enough to call me Mom, so how would that make him feel if I said, "I don't think you should call me Mom"? It would be as if I was discounting his feelings. As if I was telling him that didn't feel motherly towards him, so he shouldn't call me that.

Does the title matter?

I think a "mom" is anyone who takes care of a child and does everything for them. They put the child before themselves. From the most mundane thing, such as cutting fingernails, to the most exciting things, such as helping them get ready for their first date.

A mom is someone you count on, no matter what. They will always be there for you and will do anything for you. They teach you right from wrong and how to be a great person.

They yell at you when you do something wrong, yet kiss you when they are done yelling.

Based on my definition of a "mom", I am 100% his mom and have been for the past 8 years. And what is she? A caregiver.

As harsh as that sounds, that is her role. She watches him or has someone else watch him on her weekends. She feeds him when she feels like it and doesn't get him necessities, such as clothes or a bed. She simply watches him on the weekend so she can make herself feel like she is a "mom".

And the sad part is, that as upset as she is by the fact that he considers me his other mom, she hasn't tried any harder to be a better mom.

Does she call him during the week just to say "hi"? No.

Does she spend one-on-one time with him on her weekends? No.

Does she try to contact his teacher and try to get to know her and find out how he is doing in school? No.

I am sure some people won't agree with me, but I know in my heart that I am a mom. I never need to reassure myself or have others reassure me of my role.

It's been awhile since I wrote...I just haven't had the opportunity lately. My younger son was really sick for over a week and blogging was the last thing on my mind.

Birth mom has been quiet.

However, we seemed to have hit the lottery because we found out last week that she changed the billing address at stepson's old doctor's office to one of her many addresses and now we have 4 outstanding balances that have gone to a collection agency!

And just take a guess when these bills were from...ummm...1999 and 2002!! Completely unbelievable.

My husband used to hold my SS under his medical insurance (I do now). Before the whole custody change, birth mom used to take SS to a nurse practitioner every other week, just to talk to her and pretend like SS had some issue.

I honestly think she suffers from Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome because she would take him in and tell the nurse practitioner (she wouldn't even try to see the doctor!) her "whoa is me" story about how my husband left her and how she is a single mother who is the only one willing to take her son to the doctor.

We believe that she tried to convince the nurse practitioner that SS was suffering from "issues" due to the fact that he saw my husband every other week.

Please note that my husband would also take SS to the doctor, but ONLY WHEN HE WAS SICK!

Well, everything changed after the custody change. It was written in the custody agreement that my husband would be the one to choose all SS's doctors, which pissed off birth mom to the extreme. She said it wasn't fair, but SS was now living with us and his new pal, the nurse practitioner, had an office 20 miles away from our house. Sure, I feel like driving a sick kid 20 miles to the doctor when we have one 2 miles away.

She made the argument that she was the only one who cared enough to take SS to the doctor, but my husband showed the attorneys that he also took SS to the doctor, but only when he was sick. He also showed how often she took him and that he had no illness the majority of times she took him.

Needless to say, we have to pay off these 4 outstanding balances. My husband confronted birth mom last week over the phone and asked why she changed addresses on the account and why she didn't tell him about the bills.

She said, "How do you know I was even the one to take him?"

My husband said, "Because the hospital has the office records and told me that I was not the person who took him for the visits. They also told me all the bills went to your old addresses and they never received any reply from you."

She said, "Oh. Well, I need to eat dinner. Bye."

For the 10,234th time...what a piece of work.

As you may know, my stepson is staying at his birth mom's relative's house this weekend because she works the entire time she has stepson for the weekend.

Well, you would think that since she made the arrangements for him to stay at her relative's house, things would be all set for him when he arrives there.

Guess again!

We ended up having to drop off clothing for my stepson to last him the entire weekend because she didn't drop off any clothing, toiletries, etc. Nada!

What kind of parent makes arrangements and doesn't provide the basic necessities for their child??

And birth mom didn't even tell us that she didn't bring anything. My stepson had to call us and ask us to bring clothes for the entire weekend because he didn't have anything to wear when he went to their house.

Just another example of Mommy Dearest.

I hope everyone had a Happy Halloween! Both kids went trick-or-treating and had a great time.

Birth mom called before trick-or-treating and we thought it was to say Happy Halloween to my stepson and see what he was doing. Oh no. It couldn't be for a sweet and motherly reason.

She didn't even ask my stepson about Halloween or what he was going to do. She had to tell my husband that my stepson would be spending the weekend with her relatives because she works all weekend and she wanted to find out if my husband could give him some money to spend because her relatives would be taking him to some flea markets and he needed money to buy stuff. What a piece of work.

He's going to her relatives and they are taking him somewhere, but we are supposed to pay for stuff. Makes a lot of sense.

Maybe if we were able to supervise his spending and make sure the item he bought wasn't used by birth mom or by her other son (who was previously known as her "brother") who lives with her or thrown away in the trash, then maybe we would think about giving him some spending money.

But I think for the simple fact that it's her weekend and her relatives, she is obligated to provide money, not us! We aren't Fanny Mae, ready to provide loans when she doesn't have money.

As I said, my stepson was supposed to be with his birth mother this weekend. Instead, she decided to pawn him off on relatives the entire weekend.

However, she did manage to take him to school this morning and she drove someone else's car. And there is a male in the passenger seat. All at 7:30 AM.

It ends up that this is her new boyfriend (she has been dating him for less than a month) and she is driving his car, with him as a passenger, to take our stepson to school this morning. Boy, she never ceases to amaze me.

Obviously, he slept over at her place. Unless he just happens to like getting up at 7 AM to have his new girlfriend drive his car to drop her kids off at school. How many different times and ways can I say L-O-S-E-R?? She is such a great example.

And the point of driving his car and bringing the flavor of the month is for her regular dog and pony show.

If she is by herself, she will never show up for anything and won't say a word about anything. If she has a new loser on her arm, you will hear all about how rich her boyfriend is (yes, even the guy with 2 kids who lives with his parents) and how they are going to get married, build a new house (even if they have 3 foreclosures between the 2 of them!), and live happily ever after.

Same story, different guy. It really is a bad cycle that will never be broken.

Will she ever stop putting herself first??